Breaking it off over the phone?

We've known each other about a month, and he confessed he had feelings for me about a week ago (like FEELINGS - he said he'd fallen in love with me). He's a really sweet, genuine guy, so I decided to give him a chance even though I was a little freaked out by the whole love thing.

We went out/ hung out a couple of times, and I really enjoy his company. He's also an attractive guy, but I'm just not feeling it. Kissing him is really weird.

I'm going on holiday for a week tomorrow, so I thought now would be a good time to break it off because he won't have to face me for a week (we work in the same building) and give him time to get over it.

Should I call him to do it and explain?
Updates:
We met for lunch earlier today, and I told him I still wasn't sure (I've been really upfront with him about having just come out of another relationship, and needing time to work out my feelings for him), so I can't meet up with him again today and I'm leaving in the morning.


I feel like it would be really cruel to leave him hanging the whole time I'm away, and then come back and break it off.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, the sooner you tell him the better, so it won't be hangkng over both your heads while you are on vacation.

    You know, he likely has the same vibes, so he won't be so crushed to hear this. And after just a few days, it's fine to just tell him over the phone.

    Most likely, it wil lcome as a relief to him, as wel las to you, to have this settled.

    Just tell him you will still be friends when you get back. There's no reason for any sort of high drama between you.

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What Guys Said 16

  • My last two relationships ended over the phone. (I didn't end either of them; the woman did.) At the time it seemed tacky, but looking back, I wouldn't have wanted it to happen any differently. For me personally, over the phone would work best, but everyone is different.

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  • If you enjoy his company and you think he is attractive, what is the problem? However, if you don't feel it, I guess you don't feel it. Do you think you could wait another month and figure out your feelings? This may not be feasible, so I guess you have to break up.

    The thing is, breaking up over the phone is cowardly. You have to face him when you say it. Just do it before you go on vacation.

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  • You aren't feeling the guy, it's not your fault...you haven't done anything wrong. In fact you've given him the benefit of the doubt and gave him a shot. He's a man. He should be able to take a simple "It's not gonna work out". Or you could always go with the trusty "It's not you , it's me". Either way, his pride might be hurt for a bit but that's the risk anyone takes when they date. You shouldn't feel bad, because you haven' done anything wrong.

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  • You should have told him when you saw him, unless you are afraid he is some psycho that will physically hurt you for "betraying" him. But since you can't see him in person, just call him (don't text) and tell him it isn't working out and you need time to yourself.

    PS: Any guy who loves you after 3 weeks is very desperate or just a total creep.

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  • It depends.

    If you just met the guy a week ago, and you've only been on one date or none at all (or if he did something way out of line that makes you too scared or repulsed to see him in person), then phone is a good option.

    If it's someone you've been with for weeks, dated several times, had some chemistry with, and there was feelings at one point, definitely say it in person.

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  • If you're attracted to him, then why are you not "feeling it"? Is it because he told you he loved you?

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  • Who cares! Come on , think about soemthing else . That'll help , thinking about him too much won't help . Go hang out with your Veronese or buddies ;)

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  • Just tell him that you're not interested face to face, don't do this s.hit via text or phone call.

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  • I can tell you, I've been on the recurring end off this same situation. Nothing hurts more than being bRoken up with through indirect communication.

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  • Whatever you do, do not end it via text. Be a PRO, and call him up. Be gentle but quick. You two work in the same building after all.

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  • No. Have the decency to do it in person.

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    • I really wish I could but the next chance I'll get is after I get back from holiday - I don't want to leave him hanging for that long though :(

  • Call, met up, and break it off. Done.

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  • yes

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  • If you do it over the phone he might be all clingy and try to keep calling you to get back with you. But if you do it in person it might be easier to pull 'lets just be friends' thing.

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  • Calling and doing it is in my opinion a crappy thing to do. Tell him lunch time at work and just say you are still not ready to date.

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  • Breaking up on the phone. God some of you younger folk need to learn the art of talking and communications. You have waited for this moment for how long? You know that moment that you turned 18 and was considered an ADULT? Come-on call him up and break up on the phone with him. Casual boyfriend or not that is pretty mature. Actually you should post it on FB.

    Kissing him is weird. In what way?

    Doing that and then disappearing for a week and avoinding his calls and texts will make him stew and your working in that building a lot more uncomfortable, and I do not mean for you. I meant all the other employees and visitors of that building first and foremost.

    If you want to be an adult, handle the problems like an adult. IF you do not know how, learn. Look up the word communication(s) and see if you have that skill, because with out it you will not go far.

    Man up and be an adult.

    I would classify you as (a woman that) Couldn't Understand Normal Thinking (four lettered word using the capitols) if you left me hanging thinking of you and waiting for you to come back when YOU left for the trip thinking that YOU were single while misleading me and allowing me to be honest, have morals, and not cheat because I am thinking that we are together.

    Piece of work that you are.

    If you are going to be a prick about it, text/email him a dear "John" letter and change your number and block your social media.

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    • wowowow. Either you're not understanding what I'm saying, or I'm misunderstanding you. The ONLY reason I'm thinking of doing it over the phone is that otherwise I won't see him til I get back, and that's really not fair on him. Kissing is weird as in no chemistry. It felt wrong. I'm not talking about vanishing /avoiding him at all.

    • Also, I've only known for sure that I want to break it off as of this morning. I'd rather end it now than string him along. How am I being childish exactly?

What Girls Said 2

  • Just break up with him over the phone, honestly you haven't been dating THAT long...be honest, tell him you're just not feeling it, and wish him luck..I've had to do it before. Once you do it, you feel very relieved and free, and you don't want to be thinking about it while on vacation, and also it gives you that space and time away to let the dust settle. Don't string him along, he'll have more respect for you, if you are honest and do it now. Don't feel bad about doing it over the phone, it takes a lot a guts, I would understand if you had been dating awhile and had an actual relationship, then in person is the best way...anyways, you can do it! Good luck!

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  • Do it in person since over the phone is the coward way out. Sorry but doing it over the phone is a bit immature and in person shows that you are an adult.

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    • The next chance I'll have to do it in person is after I come back from my holiday - do you think it's worse to leaving him hanging that long or to do it over the phone?

    • Leaving him hanging. Why don't you just try and meet up with him before your holiday if possible? Also sometimes people do not get the message if you do it just over the phone and not in person

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