Breaking it off over the phone?

We've known each other about a month, and he confessed he had feelings for me about a week ago (like FEELINGS - he said he'd fallen in love with me). He's a really sweet, genuine guy, so I decided to give him a chance even though I was a little freaked out by the whole love thing.

We went out/ hung out a couple of times, and I really enjoy his company. He's also an attractive guy, but I'm just not feeling it. Kissing him is really weird.

I'm going on holiday for a week tomorrow, so I thought now would be a good time to break it off because he won't have to face me for a week (we work in the same building) and give him time to get over it.

Should I call him to do it and explain?

Updates:
We met for lunch earlier today, and I told him I still wasn't sure (I've been really upfront with him about having just come out of another relationship, and needing time to work out my feelings for him), so I can't meet up with him again today and I'm leaving in the morning.


I feel like it would be really cruel to leave him hanging the whole time I'm away, and then come back and break it off.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, the sooner you tell him the better, so it won't be hangkng over both your heads while you are on vacation.

    You know, he likely has the same vibes, so he won't be so crushed to hear this. And after just a few days, it's fine to just tell him over the phone.

    Most likely, it wil lcome as a relief to him, as wel las to you, to have this settled.

    Just tell him you will still be friends when you get back. There's no reason for any sort of high drama between you.

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What Guys Said 16

  • My last two relationships ended over the phone. (I didn't end either of them; the woman did.) At the time it seemed tacky, but looking back, I wouldn't have wanted it to happen any differently. For me personally, over the phone would work best, but everyone is different.

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  • If you enjoy his company and you think he is attractive, what is the problem? However, if you don't feel it, I guess you don't feel it. Do you think you could wait another month and figure out your feelings? This may not be feasible, so I guess you have to break up.

    The thing is, breaking up over the phone is cowardly. You have to face him when you say it. Just do it before you go on vacation.

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  • You aren't feeling the guy, it's not your fault...you haven't done anything wrong. In fact you've given him the benefit of the doubt and gave him a shot. He's a man. He should be able to take a simple "It's not gonna work out". Or you could always go with the trusty "It's not you , it's me". Either way, his pride might be hurt for a bit but that's the risk anyone takes when they date. You shouldn't feel bad, because you haven' done anything wrong.

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  • You should have told him when you saw him, unless you are afraid he is some psycho that will physically hurt you for "betraying" him. But since you can't see him in person, just call him (don't text) and tell him it isn't working out and you need time to yourself.

    PS: Any guy who loves you after 3 weeks is very desperate or just a total creep.

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  • It depends.

    If you just met the guy a week ago, and you've only been on one date or none at all (or if he did something way out of line that makes you too scared or repulsed to see him in person), then phone is a good option.

    If it's someone you've been with for weeks, dated several times, had some chemistry with, and there was feelings at one point, definitely say it in person.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Just break up with him over the phone, honestly you haven't been dating THAT long...be honest, tell him you're just not feeling it, and wish him luck..I've had to do it before. Once you do it, you feel very relieved and free, and you don't want to be thinking about it while on vacation, and also it gives you that space and time away to let the dust settle. Don't string him along, he'll have more respect for you, if you are honest and do it now. Don't feel bad about doing it over the phone, it takes a lot a guts, I would understand if you had been dating awhile and had an actual relationship, then in person is the best way...anyways, you can do it! Good luck!

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  • Do it in person since over the phone is the coward way out. Sorry but doing it over the phone is a bit immature and in person shows that you are an adult.

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    • The next chance I'll have to do it in person is after I come back from my holiday - do you think it's worse to leaving him hanging that long or to do it over the phone?

    • Leaving him hanging. Why don't you just try and meet up with him before your holiday if possible? Also sometimes people do not get the message if you do it just over the phone and not in person

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