My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years plans on joining the military but isn't sure about marriage. I don't know what to do.

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 1/2 years. We were friends first and have lived together for over 2 years and adopted as dog together. He has made it known over the years he isn't ready for marriage but after losing his job he has looked into joining the military. I honestly thought it was more talk then anything but just found out he has been to the recruiter 3 times behind my back. I an extremely hurt by his deception. I can't imagine my day to day life without him and want to get married so we can stay physically with one another as much as possible, but as I said he isn't looking fir marriage. I just really need some advice. Can anyone help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he doesn't want to get married, you can't force him to. It can wait. Relationships are supposed to be about giving and taking, so you have to be able to take this.

    Just be honest and tell him your true feeligngs. Let him know that you are hurt that he went to the recruiter behind your back. Let him know that you don't want him to lose his life in the military, and if he joined, you would miss him a lot. You have to let him know what you are really thinking. Use emotion to show him that you really mean it.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Marriage should be out of the question at this point. At least until the communication gets A LOT better. You guys don't sound like you're on the same page...maybe not even the same book! If he doesn't include you in on this discision of his, you'll see what his true colors are, which won't be with you...making it easier for you to move on. He sounds very immature, and self centered.

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  • He's not looking for marriage. He's made it crystal clear. So crystal clear that you even mentioned it three times in your question. If you want to be married, you need to find a different boyfriend.

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  • Yeah try to get married if that's what you want jsut realize its pretty hard to stay married to someone in the military. But marriage isn't neccassry.

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  • What deception? If he told you that he was thinking about enlisting, then he's not exactly decieving you. I don't know that he is obligated to take you to the recruiter with him, or tell you that he's been to the recruiter for more information, unles he's signed a contract when he's told you that he wouldn't you have no case to feel decieved. Unless there is more to the story that you are telling, you're kind of working yourself up here. From where I stadn, the deception is all in your head. I think that this is a case of you being more into this relationship than he is. THat's hurts but better to realize it now, than later.

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