me and my boyfriend were best friend before we started going out and just yesterday was our first year anyversary and he dumped me this morning.i don't even know how I feel,we work together and at my job we loft heavy stuff and he doesn't loke when I do it he tells me to do something else and I do sometimes but yesterday I was lifting heavy stuff and he told me to stop and I got mad and he broke up with me Because he said I don't care about myself and I don't listen to him...he was adopted because his mother couldn't have kids so he tginks the same would happen to me because I keep lifting heavy things but still I don't think that's a good excuse to break-up witj me,he was probably just done.i feel so empty right now...we work together ao how am I gonna handle this break up and how am I gonna get over him because we got to talk.please tell me what to do?
- HOW TO I HANDLE THIS..?IT HURTS SO BAD!!Vote A
- HOW DO I HANDLE THIS..?IT HURTS SO BAD!!Vote B
Most Helpful Guy
When people invest time and energy into someone else, they expect to get something in return. I feel every relationship should be about an equal distribution of love. When the relationship comes to an end, especially if it's an abrupt one, there is the instant regret that your not going to get a return on your investment. During the relationship both of you have things that you did on a regular basis and now that it's over there are these empty spaces in the day that you had set aside. All this adds up to the elements of a relationship in addition to how much one has come to care about someone else.
I feel the first step is to decide if you want him back. Keep in mind that the wound of a fresh breakup and the desire to not be alone is at it's strongest right now. The easy road would be to put time and energy into trying to save the relationship. The excuse he gave for breaking up seems a little weak to me and makes me think that there is more to it and he was just using any excuse he could. I feel this is an indication that it's not likely that the relationship could last even if you managed to get him back.
If you choose to move on, then the first thing you have to do is admit to yourself that it's over. Then have yourself a good cry, maybe find a good friend to give you lots of hugs. The next step is to fill those empty spaces in the day with other things that are important to you. Do something during those times that you enjoy doing. I feel your happiness should never depend on someone else. Accept that it's going to take time to get back to normal. I've often been told that the time it takes to get over someone is equal to the time you were in the relationship. Remember, you had a life before this guy so get back to it.
Every failed relationship we have in life is only a failure if you let it be. Once you have some distance you will be able to take a look back and see what about the relationship you liked and what about it you didn't. This means that the next time you find someone you like, you will have a better understanding of what makes you happy and this can make the next relationship even better. That is the last step. Don't lose hope. If you learned something about yourself then you can hold onto the hope that the next one will be even better.4