?My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. 6 months ago, he started getting distant. we'd been living together for a year at that point. He went from being a loving, wonderful, thoughtful person who loved speding time with me, to overnight becoming someone who waasn't interested in me at all, unless I hadn't cleaned that is! I love him very, very much, which I why I have put up with it for this long. We still have sex, a lot, but I have to beg him for a kiss, last time I asked for a cuddle, I had to wait 2 weeks of asking every day before he got grumpy and gave me one. On my birthday, I had to beg him to wrap my present up, which doesn't sound like much, but then Christmas came, I bought him a game and said all I wanted was a card from him, which I meant, but he couldn't even do that, as with Valentine's day, he went to the pub instead. We used to have fun together all the time, but whenever I get him to come out with me, he either leaves me by myself, or sits there miserable. Almost like he's embarrassed to be seen with me. We both work a lot, as we are saving to buy a house, so apart from sleeping in the same bed, we rarely see each other. He has a day here or there where he's great, but I spend 99% of the time being happy thinking about how we used to be. I have a lot of patience but I'm starting to think he'll never snap out of whatever this is. Whenever I ask he says 'Im fine leave me alone' What's the matter with him? What should I do?
Can we get back to where we were?
What Guys Said 2
I think the answer to this is pretty clear and you probably know what you ahve to do already. He has stopped making an effort, he is emotionally detached, and simply has stopped trying.
I think clearly you have to end this relationship. If he is unwilling or unable to effectively communicate then what can you possibly do to try and re-kindle all the things that have gone missing? If he was willing to talk about stuff then perhaps you could communicate with him regarding the things you would like to see changed in the relationship but if he is unwilling to even communicate then what hope is there
It sucks because you two have been together for so long, live together, and obviously have invested so much time into the relationship; but there comes a point where you can't keep trying if the other person isn't trying.
I'd say maybe try to sit down and have a very serious conversation with him. List all the problems you see (not necessarily in an accusatory way) and let him knwo that you feel unappreciated, taken for granted and ignored. Tell him it hurts that he doesn't seem to give a sh*t about you and that you love him but that you don't know if you can keep going through this1
He's got no desire to be in this relationship with you any more. I don't know why you'd continue to put up with it.0
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