Dealing with my first break-up... how do I make sense of the void I'm left with?

We broke up and it was (essentially) a mutual decision. We were really close: great chemistry, shared interests, same beliefs, good communication and good sex. There used to be so much love and now there's an empty hollow space instead. We haven't spoken and we haven't met each other since. I asked to stay friends and he said he can't do that. I can't believe all we had is gone forever and none of it can survive, not even friendship. I'm heart broken because it feels like this person is dead. Like he was never there in the first place.

I'm sure many of you have been through this... how did you do it?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its been more than 2 weeks since my first break up , it was a mutual decision as well. Everything that you mentioned above describes exactly what we had me and my ex boyfriend. we had a one year relationship and 4 years friendship.

    We haven't spoken since then.. and I feel , just like you , that everything is gone.. that I lost him as a bofruend but also as a best friend.

    Im trying now to move on with my life even though I have to admit I'm still holding on on hope.. the hope that he could eventually come back to me.. that is what makes life bearable to me now.

    As for you , I think your ex still have feelings for you.. Because not wanting to be friends with you anymore is just a sign that he can't face the person he still loves knowing she isn't his.

    Good luck though .. and just get in your mind that you are noooot alone!

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's really really hard. You do have to cut off all contact. For me I had to install an app to stop me from texting him. And then I had a friend use a code to lock the app to stop me from getting in to the app! That's how hard it was for me. But it was the best thing I could have done. Having that clear space to just focus on myself was really good. Surround yourself with friends and keep yourself busy. Flirt with random guys. That helps too. Just to keep you distracted in the meantime.

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  • I think he doesn't want to be your friend because he still has feelings for you. Maybe he'll change his mind after a lot of water has passed under the bridge, so be patient.

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  • You need to cut off all the contact with him for yourself to heal. It's tough but you have to do it for your own good.

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