What is she thinking?

Ladies, I would appreciate all/any feedback from you. Many thanks!

I dated this girl for over a month (mid 20s). We got to know one another and liked each other at one point. We grew affectionate with one another (linking arms, some hand holding, her resting her head on my shoulder, her telling her folks & friends about me, etc.) I didn't flirt much back and went on vacation so according to her "poof, the moment was gone". We kept talking after that and hanging out. At one point, we kissed but she still claimed afterward that she wasn't feeling a "spark" still. We had an argument and everything ended thereafter (friendship included). A week later we patch things up and seemingly are close again. We spent the weekend watching tv, cooking, etc. Eventually, I head out because I am exhausted and she is near asleep. She tells me to let her know once I get home. When I do so, she texts back saying thank you for everything and that she was hoping I would stay with her overnight. I knocked out and didn't see the text until the next morning. By that time, she sent another text saying she wants to take back what she said because she was "half asleep". I don't buy it, I figure she's retracting the statement because of the fact I didn't reply sooner. Anyhow, she hits me up now and wants us to spend the night together. She even asks if I still have feelings for her and I tell her yes. Yet, she then tells me she doesn't want to lead me on. afterward, she tells me that the important thing to her is our friendship. Ladies I would love your point of view here. Why would you want to spend the night with someone if you didn't have feelings for him at all? I would assume she likes me but is scared that the friendship might be tarnished if we take things another level (which makes little sense considering we were dating before)? She has had pretty bad relationship experiences and has stated that she doesn't want anything serious the first time we met. She is afraid of being hurt again and doesn't want to be in that bad state again. Thoughts?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd go for

    "...I would assume she likes me but is scared that the friendship might be tarnished if we take things another level (which makes little sense considering we were dating before)? She has had pretty bad relationship experiences and has stated that she doesn't want anything serious the first time we met. She is afraid of being hurt again and doesn't want to be in that bad state again."

    I think that is the answer to that! I totally agree with you.

    ____________________________________________________________________

    "...I would assume she likes me but is scared that the friendship might be tarnished if we take things another level"

    ---BUT it does make sense, considering that you guys were dating before...

    it didn't work out really well now did it? Because if it did, then until now, both of you would still be in a relationship together...not just friends. She doesn't want to lose you like she almost did before.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think she doesn't want to lose you and only wants you as a close friend. And there is nothing wrong with a guy friend staying over overnight. I would invite my best guy friend over. It would be fun with no awkward tension. She wants this and doesn't want you to want more with her. She is very fond of your friendship and wants to keep it.

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  • I hate when people do this, when they use other people's prior bad acts as a reason to be a p**** or to punish the folks around them. Both genders do that sh*t, I hate it. It makes me tired. To the chick I would say: No guts, no glory, bitch. Don't f*** with people's minds because others did it to you. Figure out what YOU want and go from there. None of this waffling sh*t, it makes us all look bad. To YOU I would say, proceed with caution. She doesn't know what she wants. She doesn't know how to handle herself. She wants to take back what she texted? What is she, nine? OH I TAKE IT BACK- well then I guess it never happened then, huh? AMAZING. It's a bitch move. Say what you have to say and stand by it or don't open your friggin mouth.Anyway, if SHE doesn't know wtf she wants, how in the hairy hell are YOU supposed to figure it out? She's either emotionally immature or else you are about to get played like a banjo in the hands of an inbred, backwoods redneck. That's MY take on it.

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    • Your blunt honesty is amazing. I'm into a guy who supposedly has baggage, and he keeps being hot and cold with me because of it. So annoying that I have to be punished for his insecurities! If he would just get his sh*t together, we'd be good.

      And OP, listen to this answer. I agree full-heartedly with it! Be very careful with her so that you don't end up being used like some sort of emotional cuddle-teddybear. You should really talk to her about it.

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