I feel horrible I'm breaking up with her, what would you do?

Now I wasn't sure whether or not to put this in health, but whatever. So I've been seeing this girl for a little bit and we haven't had sex yet, I got out of a loooong relationship and want to take things a little slow. But the topic of herpes somehow came up and she said that she has both kinds. I feel really really weird about this as I am lucky enough that I don't have either (genital or cold sores). And ever since she told me I have been seriously thinking about ending it, as the only way I would subject myself to that is if I knew I wanted to marry her and that never even crossed my mind. So I'm going to end things, I just have to figure out how.

So this more of a question to you. If you started seeing someone and found out they had herpes or genital warts or some other incurable non-deadly disease that you don't have, would you break up with them?
  • I'd try to figure out a way to work things out.
    Vote A
  • I'd break up with them classily.
    Vote B
  • I don't care about getting those diseases.
    Vote C
  • Man, I already have all those!!
    Vote D
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Updates:
Lol, I think I need to clarify something. I am ending things with class, this was more of a question for the GAG people and what made me want to ask the question. Would you continue to date someone with a disease?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would. In a heartbeat, I would. I really hope she was going to tell you before you two got down to bidness, but since you say the topic just happened to come up, that makes me think she WOULD NOT have told you. I also want to assure you that you are not wrong for not wanting to contract herpes. And you would be well within your rights to tell her that you don't want to be with her *because* she has herpes- I mean, come on, that's fair!

    I'm actually righteously indignant on your behalf, I think you must be a really, really good person because you don't seem as pissed off as *I* am pissed off FOR you. She may be on suppresive therapy, and she may have had every intent to make sure you wore a condom, but the fact is that herpes can still be spread- it depends on where her lesions pop up. The information is out there, read up on it. Better yet, send it to HER.

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    • That's sweet you are getting angry on my behalf lol. It seems like no one who is clean would want to get into that kind of relationship. I think she would have told me, well I hope anyway, but maybe that's how people get into that situation to begin with

    • This is late, but at least she told you before. Also according to health care proffesionals, genital warts are curable in a way. Your body can eradicate the virus

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • I really feel like you should break up with her in a classy way, its your right to not want to contract those things. I also think there is a law where they have to tell you and if they don't they can go to jail for that (don't full take my word on that it may only be for AIDS or something) anyway, that is fully disgusting

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    • That's only for AIDS and other potentially lethal diseases, but I see where your heart is and I feel ya

    • it still sounds disgusting though :/

  • It's perfectly reasonable for you to not want to share her disease. Let her down easily and do it in person. She probably should have told you sooner anyway.

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  • You obviously weren't into her enough to stick around and that's okay. I would feel bad too because you don't know what her situation was of how she got it...

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    • Actually I do know, but your response is kind of condescending. Hmm, oh well.

    • Show All
    • Ahhh, the age old problem of not being able to read inflections. I gotcha (after rereading everything in a different tone), you mean that this would be different if I was seriously into her and not just something casual and kind of liking her. Yes, you are correct. Sorry, this whole debacle has put me on edge.

    • Its okay I often get irritated with misunderstandings on here too. it can get a little confusing. thank you for your understanding :)

What Guys Said 1

  • get out of there ASAP

    text message

    You: hey can we talk? (switch it to phone or keep texting)

    her: about what?

    You: some personal issues

    Her: Like what?

    You: I'm really glad you told me about those diseases :) I've just been kinda struggling, I don't know what its like to date someone with those

    [her response]

    You: I feel really uncomfortable

    [Her response]

    You: I don't want any risk associated with them even though there are a lot of misconceptions which I have read about also

    [Her response]

    You: I have to stop seeing you, better you know now than 2 months from now

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    • Yeah, I'm not going with that. I only end things in person, phones are only for cowards, and I figure since we haven't done anything really sexual we can still be friends.

    • Its not for cowards its for time management if you only saw her for a week its okay. If its a month it should be in person.

    • Gotcha gotcha, thought you meant texting any case. Sorry, I've seen answers on here before where people recommend text breaking up after years of being together, I assumed and that made me an ass. Yeah, we were together for about a month and a half.

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