Ex wife drama... Should I continue dating him or save myself from heartache?

So I met this guy about 4 months ago at a bar, we hit it of very well, by the end of the night we exchanged numbers and set a day when we were going to meet again. We meet up went to eat, movies and the mall and then went back to his house to watch another movie, all we d did was talk and get to know each other, he was very respectful the entire day. He told me he was just getting out of a divorce so he wants to take hings slow with me, he doesn't wanna ruin another relationship by rushing. Him and his ex wife hated each other by what he would tell me, but recently I found out he's still been texting her, he told me, that she's leaving to Texas and he wants to be civil about things and be friends with her. I don't wanna be one to tell him who to or not to talk to but I find it very disrespectful of him. Another thing that I found out was that he went to a bar with her recently, he had lied and told me he was with his buddies, now I don't know if he's really being the bigger person here or if he's just trying to have his fun. Mind you I'm 23 and he's 21 I've meet his family they all adore and think I could be the one for him, he's also told me that he wants to move out and have a baby with me. I just find it difficult to believe him when he's still has contact with his ex wife, my question is, should I continue with him or save myself from heartache?


Most Helpful Guy

  • In order for a relationship to be healthy, there needs to be TRUST. He just got out of a relationship, so it could be possible that he didn't do anything. It is possible that he lied because he knew you wouldn't understand. It is also possible that he accidentally did something with her. But I doubt it is that in this case.

    It does not matter that he is 21 years old and already out of marriage. For all you know, he could have learned from his mistakes. But it is hard for us answerers to know more details without actually being observers.

    • It's too suspicious. I think people should at least grow out of the "you wouldn't understand" lie by age 15 or so. If I were her, I would see an immature boy who lies, or a dishonest player. Neither sounds great.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you already know the answer. Sounds pretty iffy to be talking crap about his ex wife but still texting and going to bars (while lying to you about it) with her. And if they end up being friends like he wants she will always be around and will become a problem between you both. Don't want to give you bad news but I would stay away.


What Girls Said 5


    ok this guy LIES, talks to his EX, and wants kids?! You've been talking for MONTHS not years! He said he doesn't want to rush things yet he wants a family already! I'd say before you are a confused ex #2 you need to run far far away.

  • He lied? Run.

    He lied about something important (ex wife vs. buddies?)? Double run!

    Seriously, this guy sounds like trouble. You need someone more mature who will respect you like you deserve IMO...

  • Run lol. He's already lied..he's already talking about having children with you,.. and he's so extremely young and already divorced. BRIGHT red flags.

  • She's still in the picture

    He's not being honest with you.you know this because there are too many things that don't add up

    He runs game on you and lies.

    Don't believe his family, they will lie for him in a minute

    Save yourself!

  • 21 and he already has an ex-wife? o_0

    Red flags: he lies to you, he talks trash about his ex (even though he still talks to her and hangs out with her), he wants to rush into having kids after only 4 months (though he claims he wants to take things slow?)

    Good qualities: ?

    That's pretty much everything I got from what you wrote. He doesn't seem like someone I personally would put up with dating.


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