Did I hurt his ego or is this really him just trying to get over me?

I dated this guy for 6 months. The first 2 was cloud 9. Then we had our first argument. It was my fault. I overacted. BUT I did my best to make it up to him for 3 months after. He was coming back around and it felt like we were back where we started. Just caring for each other. But then he started becoming very non responsive to my calls, wouldn't answer them. and was very delayed in his responses to my text messages. We didn't get to see each other very much so the lack of responses made me worry. He has A LOT going on right now. On the brink of losing his house. He has his son (I have 2 kids myself) and child custody with the son's mother. But he isn't trying, to me, very hard to find a job. To do anything with his life. He constantly told me bad things about his ex. I never met her, even though I was around her/his son. I would think as a mother myself. I would want to meet the people that are around my child's life and could potentially be around to influence them. I asked to meet his ex on 2 separate occassions. He disregarded it. I have been under the impression this whole time she didn't know he was dating anyone. She found me, why would I think she wouldn't know, I know women can be caddy and sneaky in finding out info on other girls. She told me they are still romantically involved, at times. I confronted him about it. He didn't deny or admit to it. I told him that he seems to have a lot on his plate. and I feel like I"m stepping on his toes. He told me he didn't feel the same but understood. I told him we have fantastic chemestiry and we click really well but I just don't see a future with us in it together. We still talk here and there but I feel awkward. and I really really miss him. I just know there isn't a future with him. We had a conversation this past weekend and I was trying to console him in his time of need. I said that's what friends are for. After that he seems to be really distant. Is it because I hurt his ego? or because I said that he knows we aren't getting back together because I said that? or just really busy trying to get his stuff together? I really miss him. I just don't think our timing has been great.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Doesn't really sound to me like you did anything to hurt is ego. If he is in the process of losing his house and is without a job is ego is probably deflated enough. What does he expect from you? If he is still involved with his exwife whom he has a child with (not having ever been married or having any kids) that seems like 1)something I'm not sure I would want to get mixed up with 2) extremely hard to give up on if it were me.

    I say just give him some space, be there if you want to be there for him, but don't put your life on hold.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • W/ his ex he had assured me he would never go back to her. I wonder who is right. Her saying they really are still involved or that she is telling me this to make me back off..either way it worked.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like he's just trying to get over you and move on with his life. Given everything he has going on, it sounds like he shouldn't be in a relationship right now anyway.

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    • You are right. He shouldn't be trying. But we were together during some of his troubled times. I still want to be there for him. Because I still care about him. He is really alone here. He moved in this area we both live in from out of state. he doesn't know anyone really.

What Girls Said 2

  • i think you should just forget about him! why waste your time when he's not going to help you in any way?

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  • His ego is hurt because he got caught up. Just keep him as a friend and MOVE ON. He is still messing around with his ex. I was in a similar situation a few years ago.

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