My partner and I have been together since September 2009, so 3.5 years.
Anyway.. At the start of the relationship he would get so worried whenever I cried and he would rock me like a baby until I stopped. It was so nice and I admit that I did take it for granted. :(
In 2011 I got sick with cancer and he helped me through all that so I know that he loves and cares about me, that's not what I'm worried about.
Things have gotten tough with my home life and lately I've been feeling really depressed and when I feel this way I have trouble doing anything (like getting out of bed etc..) and this annoys him, he doesn't understand it.
All my stuff is at my mum and dad's house and mum hates me so I sleep at his house and go home during the day so I can collect mail and get to the shops (his house is out of town and I don't drive)
He left today for a 2 night bachelor party with his friends and we had a huge argument because I'd organised a weekend for him and I next weekend that he rejected, saying he didn't want it to be an entire weekend affair and also because he asked me to pack his bag, which I did, with extreme care today (having to pull apart my room and put it back together also to find his stuff) and while he was on his way to get said bag he called to ask me to put a couple more things in there so I had to pull apart my room again. Which really stressed me out so when he got there I was crying and shaking because I couldn't find the things he wanted so he got really annoyed and said next time he would do it himself if I can't handle it. -.-'
Anyway so I calmed myself down so he could get to his house to have a shower and leave and when we got there I put his clothes (I'd washed and hung up at 6am for him) into the dryer so they'd be warm and dry and I told him a story while we were walking to get them together and I wasn't finished and he said "hurry up" so I stopped my story and got him his clothes and he wondered why I was upset which started another fight...
Which is all my fault because I'd told him I was okay with him leaving, which means it's not okay for me to feel a little delicate that he's leaving me to sleep on the floor at his lovely families house while he goes to a bachelor party with his irresponsible friends because I told him I wasn't upset about that, I was upset about him wanting to spend all weekend with them and then not wanting to spend a weekend f***ing in a hotel room with me (excuse my language)
So yeah and in all of this he was mocking me, smirking at me and telling me I'm making it about me because I got upset about a stupid story I'd already told him. (I'm not joking about this, my memory is shocking since chemo)
So am I making it about me? Am I being stupid? Should I be okay with all of this? How can I make him be loving and caring again. I feel heart broken every single time something like this happens because I can't defend myself because I can't remember what I wanted to say or why I was so upset.
It's not too far gone cause we adore each other and we have a kitten together! ahah. But how can I make him feel like I need him to look after me like he used to!? I miss it!
Thanks Cheshire cat and greenfish! I have to call my therapist again. :) I think that's a wonderful idea, he loves it when I put notes in his lunch!
Thanks Stubbsy, that's very kind of you. :) I'll have to write things down as I go to show him later cause I'll forget all my points. :P x
Most Helpful Girl
Being sick and depressed and being in a relationship is so hard. I have a genetic condition and have all kinds of issues, so I actually have been there. After over 5 years of being in a relationship similar to yours I realized that it was dysfunctional and codependent. Because I felt I couldn't manage on my own I clung to him. My clinging caused him to have some wild behavior, which in the end hurt me. Being in counseling and working on creating a support group can really help improve mood, help self esteem, and might reduce stress from your relationship (or at least give you more perspective on it), that was at least my experience. Hope that helps a little at least.2