Is he into me? Am I being stupid? should I move on?

I have been seeing this guy on and off for nearly 3 years now. We started off as friends with benefits and it was fun. we made it exclusive so that we weren't seeing other people.?He is the first guy I decided to this with. I would see him about 3 times a week for sex we got to know each other and my feelings for him got stronger 6 months into our arrangement he asked me to be his girl I was over the moon then it all kinda went down hill from there. a few months later I found out I had contracted herpes but the doctor said it could have been from any of my previous partners or from (we'll call him paul) paul but he didn't show any symptoms. Then the doctor said there is a chance he has but doesn't know it and herpes is more common than we realise. I hadn't slept with anyone but him since I met him. I just need to say I'm 23 and have slept with 6 guys to some it may be a lot but not to me. but despite having herpes he stayed with me and we went to the doctors together etc. We were fine for another six months then he got weird would do something really nice or romantic or just be a gentleman and the very next day act like an ass and ignore me for a week. he would say things like were only based on sex. I drink to block things out but when I got drunk I would text him stupid sh*t so one day he asked for an open relationshipo I said no so we moved on about 2 months later I broke it off with him Because I felt he pushed me to do so and he wasn't really fazed by it. I made the decision to go to another country for a few months to clear my head and try and get over him. while I was gone he text me a couple of times asking when I was coming back if I was happy and OK etc I shouldve stayed in the other country but apart of me hoped we could get back together so I moved back home. When I got back we agreed to do the sex thing again but after a while I wanted more so we talked he said we live separate lives and that we're two different people but he likes me and enjoys my company and likes the sex and would I still like to do what we're doing I said that I'm only saying yes Because it means I still get to spend time with him but I still want more. he smiled. so we carried on for a few months he got me a rose 4 Valentine's day which made my heart skip a beat ;) then I decided to shave my hair for charity and he said he doesn't like girls with short hair so I got drunk and abused him via text he called a couple days later and said we're done blah blah that's fine so I deleted his number but now everywhere I seem to go or drink he's around and smiling at me then I missed a call from him the other night I'm too scared to text or call. should I just forget him or text him? I think I'm in love with him. this is how its been for 3 years we have fun then we argue and say its over a couple weeks later either one of us will contact the other. Should I just move on? It's like he's scared to commit to me he's nice then he'll push me away :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think there''s something unhealthy in your relationship. It could be self-esteem issues..many things.

    You two really should go to couples therapy and talk it over with a professional, before you give up and go your separate ways.

    You've invested these 3 years more or less together. It would be a shame to just walk away without trying hard to find a way to get past these periodic break-ups. There are many goods ways you two relate, that you would have difficulty finding with someone else.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry for your situation but the cold hard truth is that you have to have a conversation with him. Usually there are other ways to get around being direct but if you think you might love him then its definitely worth the awkwardness to ask him directly.

    Sorry kido, I hate giving good people bad news. (The Matrix)


What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds to me you guys tried to turn a sex relationship into something more but more often then not that never works out . it don't really sound like your ready for a relationship with him or anyone right now . I'm not being mean I'm just saying it sounds like you have some issues with your self you need to work out before being with someone . maybe your just young and still in the party drinking and sex stage of life and that is OK but if that's the case I wouldn't try to have a real relationship with anyone right now . also I'm sorry that you got herps. 6 guys is not a lot at all really and I used to be down for what ever when I was 18-25 and it was all fun I never got herps but its very easy to do and I'm happy I didn't . I made bad choices and it looks like you did to . please make sure you always tell people about what you have before having sex with them it is your responsability to do so ALWAYS . its not a shame to have it but it is a shame to give it to other people who don't know you have it . this was a sex relationship and I'm sure you and him will still have that but maybe that's all it is . you and him have built this relationship on sex and are trying to make it more is like building a house out of wood and trying to call it brick . it is what it is