Guy who never want to get married, but move in with their gf?

Why would a guy move in with his girlfriend even though he never wants to get married.

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  • Marriage is not just a symbol of love and commitment between a couple (men actually don't have a problem with that part), it's also a LEGAL CONTRACT that is enforceable by the government.

    The main purpose of marriage historically was to legitimize children, so that lands and titles could be passed down to the next generation. In modern western society, those concepts have been almost eliminated; we don't legally recognize bastardy anymore, in the US and other places titles have been dispensed with, and only a few wealthy families have anything significant to pass down.

    And as a result of the women's movement, which was taken over by radical feminism in the 70s and 80s, marriage laws now heavily favor women at the expense of men, so many men have looked around, seen what happens to their friends who marry, and decided just to skip it. They realize they can still make a personal commitment to their girlfriend without entering into a legal business agreement with her that has terms that are very much against him.

    If I had the benefits and liabilities of marriage brought together into a single contract, there's not a lawyer in the country who would recommend a man to sign that contract, because under current laws, men have far more responsibilities and liabilities than they have benefits. If the laws are ever balanced out again, you might see interest in marriage increase, but it's been steadily decreasing for the last 30 years.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Moving in together without marrying is becoming quite common. There can be many reasons. But you would need to ask the guy to find out what his reasons are.

    If you feel comfortable enough with a person to want to spend every day with them, share life with them, and have sex with them, then living together is a natural desire. But you may not feel sure enough to commit to a (supposedly) lifetime contract. You may want to live with the person and consider a lifetime commitment later when you have learned more about how you fit together.

    The reasoning against living together without marriage probably comes from the religious belief of abstaining from sex until marriage. So you can't live together till you marry. But in today's society, sex without marriage is quite common, so that reason does not really mean much to many people. If you toss that out, then why not just live together? (By the way, I am not saying this is a better choice, or even a good one, just that it is a reason.)

    Marriage puts a legal contract in place that protects to some extent the parties involved. If a couple moves in together and accumulates things, what happens when (if) they break up? If the girl just moved in with the guy, the house (apartment) is likely in his name. She is out of luck if he kick her out. On the other hand, he is stuck with payments. What about where the belongings go? And kids will really add problems needing solutions. Marriage does not prevent many of these problems, but it does put a legal contract in place that can be used to determine who gets what and who pays for what.

    On the other hand, marriage can cause some legal burdens (like assignment of debt). So for a couple that wants to be together, but have more time to assess how that will work, living together works as a viable alternative.

    Never is a BIG word. His feelings could change. But if he really has NO intention of ever marrying, he could want the companionship without the legal responsibilities. Or he may be from a family with huge marriage problems, or close to such a family.

    Ask him.

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  • The same reason a lot of people do it. Because the divorce rate is so high, they're discouraged about their prospects for marriage, so they just live together instead. Not a very good idea if you ask me, especially if children are involved.

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  • Why buy the loaf when you can get free slices, as the saying goes. Fear of financial commitment also happens.

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  • Personally I think couples should live together for a while before getting married as it is.

    Too many couples rush marriage, move in, then divorce months later and what could have been a clean breakup is now a lawyer's wet dream and a whole lot of headaches for both people.

    The other thing is that in marriage, the finances are typically linked and there are a lot of cases where the husband's credit rating takes a hit from a reckless girl who has maxed out credit cards and such. The big reason girls really scream when they hear the word pre-nup is because they find out they can't get a free ride in the marriage financially and will have to actually contribute to the finances and not get a ton of free stuff after the marriage. The excuse is usually some generic sugar-coated "don't you care about me" BS.

    The other thing is that weddings cost a ridiculous amount of money for one ceremony which has a high risk of the bride turning into a bride-zilla.

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  • getting married is a legal contract. Being forced to be obigated to a person is a bit horrible if you think about it.

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  • Well if he doesn't want to get married, we can assume He's not particularly religious. Other than that there are a wide variety of reasons;

    - just like many people have sex before they marry, the live together before they marry. If it doesn't work out then its not anywhere near as complicated to either take a step back or end it completely.

    - doesn't want the additional stress/commitment which often comes from marriage, let alone planning one.

    - they want to have a wedding which is out of their budget at the moment so they are willing to waituntil such a time.

    Those are just a few and id be damn sure there are many more.

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  • Because he's obviously smart.

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  • Because marriage is viewed (with some justification) as an arrangement that these days puts the husband at the wife's legal/financial mercy. By contrast, in many jurisdictions, simply moving in together doesn't do any of that.

    Marriage actually fails in its alleged purpose: to solidify and secure a relationship. No one can, legally or practically, be stopped from leaving his or her spouse. Besides, if you're so worried your partner is going to leave you, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him or her in the first place.

    Also, weddings are expensive. I'd much rather spend the money on something useful or fun.

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  • Because to many men, marriage is a piece of paper, a ceremony that costs way too much that he's not really that involved in..and a way to say "I'm castrating you, and you're going to like it". That's why you hear all these jokes all the time like "weddings and marriages are hell for men" etc.. because to men, it's like saying "I own you" it's scary

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    • *In a proud father's voice* That a boy!

      I think it is stupid. People say it's the ultimate sign of love. BS. Married people cheat as much as unmarried people. To make matters worse, if it doesn't work out you have to spend even more money for the divorce. It's a waste of time! I'll be with someone who isn't deadset on living life together with our names on a contract.

    • The only real reason I may ever get married is for financial reasons. I mean, divorce rates climb as more cheating is going on

  • I believe in true commitment, which it appears he isn't into, I don't want to say its for sex because I don't know much about your relationship...all I can say is commitment issues, hopefully if he gets put into awkward situations say about kids he doesn't flip, but if he does then it seems like there isn't much whole commitment to your realtionship, if he says that he truly loves you...

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What Girls Said 2

  • For me, I won't get married because I think it's more impressive to spend your life with someone when you're not contractually obligated to.

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  • he can get all the perks...sex, companionship, having someone to take care of him, but he can still walk away much more easily than if he was really married!

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