Why do girls stay with abusive guys?

So there was a co worker at my workplace who got mad at his girlfriend cause her ex boyfriend brought some flowers and so he hit her and gave her a few bruises and they called the cops. Yet here she is, still with this guy. He did this in front of everyone in the store. If he does this to her in public I wonder what he does when they are alone and he gets mad. Do you think that some girls are so abused by their boyfriend that they're afraid to leave because of what he might do to them if she leaves? I can't believe she's still together with him. Girls, what's the reason behind staying with an abusive guy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls stay with abusive guys is that those abused girls only know how to be with abusive guys. That's either how they were raised or that is the kind of relationship that they get drawn into subconsciously. Also, guys are stronger and more aggressive, so are more likely to be able to abuse, not that girls can't abuse guys though.

    Sometimes girls stay with abusive guys because the girls don't see the abusive side of the guy most of the time. The girl is drawn in by his "sweetness", charm, and good looks. Even when he does abuse her, she thinks that he did it "just this once (or twice or even more)". Also, sometimes those girls think that they lose more than they gain if they just leave the guy, and so they put up with the abuse. Finally, sometimes being with the guy is their only choice, especially if they bought a house together or already have a child.

    I doubt that if a girl leaves her boyfriend, he will do something to her. It is possible, but doesn't always happen. If the abusive boyfriend goes after the girl, then he will probably go to jail (if he does something wrong).

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What Girls Said 2

  • because we think we can fix them and they will change for us.

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  • Usually, it's a girl who was brought up in a household where abuse was normal. She sees it as "not that bad." . Sometimes it's because they have children together and she wants to try to have a father figure for them. Sometimes it's because they assume that another guy they get with will do the same thing or something they fear even more ... (he hits me sometimes, but he's never raped me, etc). Humans prefer a known misery than the unknown sometimes, not just with relationships. I think that people with bad upbringings and a negative perception of life are more likely to assume that life will be even worse if they take a risk, so they should just learn to cope with the bad things going wrong.

    Occasionally, thought, it is because they are scared to leave. I personally know more than one woman who ended up in the hospital when they left their abusive partner.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Girls in "general" don't stay with abusive guys.

    Its just that abusive relationships, once they get caught on the spotlight, are always highlighted among-st friends and families.

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  • Generally because their father hit them when they were kids, and they mistake violence for love.

    It's a very sad situation, but I want to heavily suggest that you keep your distance. When a good samaritan tries to get involved and help, the girl will be forced to choose between a stranger, and the abuser she's familiar with. She'll choose the abuser every time, and if police show up, she'll tell them that the good samaritan attacked her and that her boyfriend was protecting her. You can easily end up in jail for your concern.

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  • i hate how girls do not get a reality check like this

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