Rebound Dilemma: Can or do rebounders ever genuinely care/like the reboundee?

I am lost and confused. What may have began as something without expectations and me possibly being a rebound, turned into a complicated situation? I would appreciate help and opinions deciphering as I put myself back together and figure out my next moves.

She is 30 and was in a relationship with her ex/fiance for 9 years prior. After going out with me for over 6 months (we've known each other longer), she feels she owes it to the ex to try one more time. I don't think they can reconcile because it's a trust issue; he cheated on her. There were reasons why they were separated in the first place and why she was moving forward with me. I think she'll realize that again soon enough.

So right now she isn't in the right state of mind to continue seeing me as she deals with the broken engagement and refigures herself out. She is going through a wide range of emotions and confusion about what to do with her life. She is a pivotal point and her decision will certainly affect her future. On one hand she has a long relationship that could lead to marriage, though with that trust issue that was broken... a likely unhappy path. On the other hand, she could restart all over again (difficult/scary) and get what she deserves in a relationship: happiness, respect, and trust, the true love of someone. She said this was the first time ever in her life that she doesn't know what to do and it is indeed a big decision.

We have so much in common. We think the same and have same interests and goals. Things were moving forward so nicely between us and she said she thought she was ready to move on but just isn't yet. She said genuinely cares about me, likes me, and is attracted to me. Her actions matched her words and up until the point things blew up and the past caught up.

We have not contacted each other for about a week now... though the last chat she clearly showed that she was still wavering/confused. She is correctly resisting me on purpose because she doesn't want to jump right into another relationship without knowing herself fully and resolving all the issues first. She would want a clean slate to give her heart to someone (maybe me) before moving forward. As such I've respected her wishes and given her more space by no/low contact. However, I miss her so much... I fell for her in those 6 months.

The question is, if you have rebounded with someone before, would you tell them/act like you were genuinely interested, like, care, and are attracted to them? Aren't rebounds just using and filling a gap without "true" feelings involved?

And... is it possible she is torn and does really like me, but owes it to a longer 9 year relationship to try once more? How should I proceed? Note that I know what I want and like in a girl. She just happens to be everything and more and I want to fight for her and have her in my life. I know I won't meet a girl like her very quickly (probably at least a year), if ever again.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Welll I saw your own dilemma it is obviasely tjat you love her want to help her but ,not for handling alll the emotion and eventually losing Each other ,give her space three days ,do not call ,after thay ask her to go out in Place opened like a mountain Or valley ,river she needs places to clear her mind ,try to avoid talking on that subject ,...

    If it is not work you should give her a bad lesson by telling her OK now I out of my oatient I miss you are smile ,i want you happy ,i truly love you ,and I will now give you space come to not Because you are lonly ,come to me you want a change for good trusting me ,you want to be around who can deserve your soul ?


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