Why did my ex completely change? Can anyone make sense of this story? I'm so confused this plagues me everyday

Hi there, so me and my ex had been together for 3 1/2 years and we were perfectly happy. I always thought if we were to break up it would be because of me. We come back from a great summer and it's all gravy. From the beginning we made the mistake of moving in together right away and because we felt our sexual relationship was becoming stale we decided to live apart after summer. She lives with her two sisters in the building across from mine so it wasn't a big deal. After our vacation she came straight back to the city we live, while I stopped somewhere else to see my family and then joined her back in our city about 2- 4 weeks later. Something weird happened. By then she was in a weird mood, almost depressed. she slept a lot, took less care of herself and we barely saw each other. We would talk on the phone and I'd say I missed her and wanted to move back together or at least hang out. So she'd invite me to her place and it was weird the whole time, I would kiss her but she wouldn't respond and she would just be distant and say she doesn't feel intimtate with me anymore. Even her sisters were like what's wrong with you? (her, not me). She said maybe she just needed to go back home and see her parents and she would feel better. She did just do that for Xmas. By then for a unrelated reason, I woke up one day with an anxiety attack and panic attacks. It was hard at first and by then we were both back in our city. She had always looked after me before, even when I was sick like a dog, she never worried about getting sick herself even though she had a weak immune system. But now she did nothing. All I needed at the time was some love and security, to be told she was there for me, nothing more- but I got nothing. She started a masters program and became super busy which gave her a reason not to see me. Finally after chasing after her like a b... (which I had never done before but I was weak and completely abandoned), I emailed her pissed off saying I didn't even consider us a couple anymore, she emailed back saying I was right and she apologized and that I needed someone who loved me and could be there for me. After that, she completely disappeared and I never heard from her or her sisters (who I saw as sisters and I helped during their tough times). The worst part is even after we broke up, I was worried about her because I thought this personality change could be due to family pressure and social pressure (she's arab, and 25 and her friends were all getting married or had a business), so I suggested she go see a therapist. She said she saw me as a friend but wasn't in love with me and that she didn't want any relationship with anyone at this point. A month later I'm feeling better and I text her just to see how she's doing and she texts back saying she's in a new relationship and they met around the time we broke up. She said she doesn't look for relationships they just happen and that she's sorry. I'm so confused I can't understand what happened!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It happens. People lose feelings for people they are dating all the time. Your cultures might have played in also. She could have wanted to be with you, and her family and friends could have been telling her that your relationship wasn't going to work, and that she needed to end things and be with someone who shares the same culture. That can be very depressing. As far as you know, this new guy could have been in the picture way before you two broke up. All you can do is move on like she has.

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What Girls Said 1

  • before I read it to the end I felt that she had met someone else...thats why all her emotions were out of wack...the only thing that happened here was that while your time apart,she met somone else unexpectedly and became highly confused..I'm sorry you are hurt,it happend to me before,nothing we can do about it,nature of the beast

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What Guys Said 1

  • She lost her feelings for you. This sometimes happens when girls have been in a long-term relationship and someone else comes along and shows interest in them.

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