Did I make wrong moves ....?

I was chating online with a girl and things were going great. She was being very nice to me. After few days of chating I told her my bitter truth that I am overly hairy young man and even posted a shirtless pic of me.

She called me monkey and that I am way too hairy . After few days she started avoiding me totally. This happened again with another girl. This time she straight away said we should be just friends!

Did I do wrong about telling them that I am overly hairy all over my body? Will it be too hard for me to get a girl to like me since I am cursed with extreme body hair?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I read all the comments and it sounds like you are really freaking out over this hair thing. You wrote that you feel hideous and "beastly"- so just suck it up and go get waxed. Maybe it will make you feel better. And you don't have to get your whole body waxed, either. It's not an all-or-nothing thing. You can just do the parts that bug you the most- like maybe just do your back and shoulders and leave all the rest. Personally, I don't mind a hairy guy. Chest hair, arm and leg hair- guys are supposed to have that. But also... um, personally a completely hairy back and shoulders is maybe not so much what I would go for. I don't know any women who hate on chest hair and stuff, and also I don't know any women who are turned on by a hairy back. But this is just *my* observation, from among *my* friends.

    But really, if you hate having all that hair (and it seems like you do), then fix it. Having your back waxed isn't THAT big of a deal- it's pretty quick because it's so easy to get to and it's a large, flat area.

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    • Hmm OK. So, what do YOU and YOUR friends think of completely hairy front (whole chest and whole stomach), and very hairy arms/upper arms and whole legs? ...what if I trim my back, shoulder and bum?

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    • You can absolutely add me. I have experience being friends with a sasquatch. :)

    • :-p ya, I forgot that you have experience of it! Lols. So funny of you!

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What Girls Said 20

  • What you really did wrong is not do anything about your body hair in the first place. We spend so much time and money removing ours to impress you guys so why should we not expect the same from you guys. Lack of physical attraction is a deal breaker for so many girls, just look at the two you described, that you really should do something about it.

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    • Girls don't grow much body hair! They just wax body to get shiny skin and to feel good. Won't waxing lots of body hair from whole body would be a pain and hassle?

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    • A woman had hairy chest! May I ask how hairy was her chest? Just bit fuzzy?did she had happy trail and hairy legs too? Was she insecure? Did she wax chest? Which ethnicity was she?

    • women don't just wax to 'get shiny' lol.

  • Yeah, you probably shouldn't mention your body hair while trying to get to know/date a girl. It just isn't attractive when guys are so open with their insecurities so soon. Everyone has them, yeah, and they might come out at some point, but don't bring them up within the first few days.

    If it bothers you, you could do some sort of grooming (waxing, shaving, etc) to make you feel better about yourself. If you're really not into that sort of thing, don't worry about it. Own it. It's so manly to have body hair, and can be really sexy.

    I met two guys one summer during an internship, both had a lot of body hair. When we'd all be out at the pool, one would be out in the open, without a care in the world, and the other would be hiding behind a towel or constantly wearing a shirt and you could tell he was, unfortunately, uncomfortable. Both had good personalities, but people tended to be more drawn to the confident one, because he was comfortable with every part of himself and it showed.

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    • People were more drawn to the guy that showed his hairiness with confidence, or were they repelled, disgusted and grossed out by it, esp. the young women? Did they made jokes behind his back /teased him?

  • I don't usually show topless pics of myself after just a few days. I get that your'e trying to clear the air early on because its something you're concerned about. But when you jump into it like that then it tells the girl you lack confidence, that something IS wrong (hairy is just normal), and that you're wanting to jump into sex straight away.

    If it bothers you a lot and its preventing you from being yourself, then pop over to a beauty salon and have it waxed or shaved or lasered off. Waxing will hurt like a bitch f***er, the other two won't really hurt. So if you choose to go down the waxing path please do not come back and hate on me. You have been warned.

    I've heard that Nair can also work well but it can take a while to get used to and if you leave it on too long it can give you a chemical burn. I heard that with some parts of the body, using nair a lot can increase the time the hair stays away; which is not true of shaving. Also, with 'permanent' hair removal please note that its never completely permanent, but the more often you go back the longer it lasts.

    Personally, I prefer guys with a bit of chest hair over guys who are completely bald. I like to run my fingers through it and marvel at how manly they are.

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    • Being hairy is normal, but I am very hairy everywhere, and that's not normal. Fven you prefer just a bit of chest hair, I have lots of hair even at other parts of my body

  • Not every girl is going to be so shallow. She just happened to be a shallow one and actually is a horrible person because she called you a monkey and that was so uncalled for and hurtful! Forget mean girls like that. There will be plenty of girls out there who don't care how hairy a guy is, as long as they like them on the inside.

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    • Two women in a row turned me down due to my huge amounts of body hair :( . It seems majority of women hate lots of male body hair, erp chert/stomach/back/shoulder.

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    • Tbh I myself feel abnormal, insecure, inferior, beastly...and that I donot deserve women, I am totally worthless for women.

    • you're acting worthless, women can sense this, we can sense this from your comments. Be more confident, there are plenty of hairy men who pick up, stop moping.

  • Some girls are just rude. They should actually notice the fact that you were honest with them. If girls can't handle it then you shouldn't take it to heart. However,there are actual girls out there that don't care. Like it's not even a big deal to me, we all have hair somewhere. If you find a girl with a sense of humor,she just might joke around with you that you're hairy like an animal lol.

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    • Thanks. But Is it necessary to be referred to as some kind of an animal just because I am very much hairy? Can't I be treated and called as a normal human male just with bit more amount of body hair than expected? :'(

    • ...haha you have no sense of humor,it was a joke dude. If you lack a sense of humor,girls don't really lack that.

  • You should not tell them like that! :O Absolutely, nononono. They can figure out for themselves that you're hairy. You're scaring them away by how you're acting. Sending a picture of you shirtless and explaining how hairy you are, it seems as if you're TRYING to scare her away!

    As for the hair and your insecurity about it. Too much hair CAN be off putting. Sometimes. For some people. Note here what I said. CAN, not IS. If a girl likes you a little and isn't into the hair then truthfully, she is likely to dump you. BUT she's not the kind of girl you're looking for either! If she likes you a lot but isn't into the hair, she'll still date you! The hair won't be a deal breaker because YOU are more important than IT.

    It's very likely that you don't even have as abnormally much hair as you think, and if you don't say anything about it, she's not going to notice is as a flaw.

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    • Lol, I would try not to send my shirtless pic! But I feel later the girl would say that I am wayy too hairy monkey and that she is tolerating it/puting up with it just out of love for me, or else she just hates hairy monkey type men...i don't want a woman to say that to me later.

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    • Ok, hey do you think that overly hairy men deserve women and are woth women jusj like other normal men?

    • Definitely.

  • Maybe you shouldn't have said it until later on. I don't think that body hair is a bad thing, its not really important. But some women can be mean and that's a shame. I truly don't think that that would keep you from getting a girl though. I wouldn't try to hide it too much and when you approach a girl just be confident and act like the hair isn't even there. I think confidence goes a long way.

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  • Why did you want to show some strangers whom you barely know well your personal pics? Too early to reveal so much about yourself to them, it can also scared girls off . The girls you mentioned are shallow and the one who called you monkey is one mean and nasty girl. You are better off w someone else. One day you will find someone who love you for who you r

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  • No, because those girls are just idiots. Some girls like guys with a lot of hair. You just have to keep your head up and not let them know it bothers you. Just hang on until you find the right one, who'll like you for you.

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  • Woah woah woah...chill man...listen...you being hairy all over yourself is not the problem-o! ITS THE FACT THAT your insecurity of being just too hairy and displaying an image when we are barely even getting to know each other, tells me as a young lady that a. you might be a perv who is just looking for sex or b. you have a lot of insecurity baggage for me to handle or even want to handle. So stop displaying your insecurity because I like bold men but guess what? My other nine gf's love hairy men so stop the TMI and just have a no pic conversation okay? Later when your OFFICIAL go crazy and shirtless and show the girl your manliness baby! Oh yea! Hahaha I don't know just go with it lol

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    • I think you are rite, that they think of me as a perv. When I show my shirtless pic. And yup, am too insecure. Actually am way too hairy. You say you and your friends like hairy men. Can you describe it how hairy do you like? Am having lots and lots of hair on my arms, whole legs, whole front torso, bit of hairy back /shoulders/upper arms/bum. Whoa! Too much hairy and beastly? Isn't it?

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    • Aww! Ya, it shows that am too insecure! Lol. I must learn to be secure. Thanks!

    • Your sure welcomed! Take care :D

  • Post a picture of youself. And be yourself, give the ladies attention and be a good listener. You will attract the right kind of girls.

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  • I'm a little bit two-sided on this one: If I was the girl you were talking to, I would want you to be completely honest about it because honesty is really important to me. However my first reaction when I saw this was to tell you to not reveal it unless a question she asked led to it because although they are shallow some girls would be turned off by it. Maybe bring it up casually by asking her if she's bothered by hairy guys, or suggesting that you kind of have a body hair issue, or asking her about her issues and then revealing hers, or asking if its okay if you tell her about it. Have you considered waxing? I actually know quite a few guys who do it.

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  • No there is a girl out there who will love you for you! <3

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  • i think you are doing the right thing, always be honest. I wish my current boyfriend was honest with me about his appearance

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    • :) you are the one who supported me for it! Cool. Is your boyfriend also very hairy and he lied to you about it?...and do you think being very hairy I deserve to get a woman and am worth them? Would I be able to get a woman like me without sympathising with me?

    • no he just has bad teeth and never told me about it, I saw for myself the first time we met in person. I think you deserve someone and it shouldn't matter if you are hairy, some girls like a hairy guy. if its really that bad you could shave/trim it.

  • How old are the girls you are trying to date? Be honest..

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    • One was 32 and other was 28. But why do you ask that? Why does that matter? How old are u? Lol.

  • Why do you feel the need to share this with people over the internet? Why let that be one of the first things you bring up? You only talked to her for a few days so I don't understand why it had to be brought up. Have you asked repeated questions about this same topic? I've seen this question a lot lately and it's not good to keep obssessing over the same thing. It's how you are and that's that. If I was meeting people online then sent a guy my pic saying, "This is me, I know I'm so flat chested, here's the proof". If he was talking to me, he was interested. If I hadn't talked bad about myself, he probably wouldn't have even cared but lacking self confidence is not attractive on anybody. Quit obssessing over this.

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    • Yup, am too insecure and obsessed. I feel inferior and abonrmal. I feel the girl should know about it so that its not an issue at later stage of relationship. What can I do? I feel like cursed monkey :(

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    • Tbh I myself feel abnormal, insecure, inferior, beastly...and that I donot deserve women, I am totally worthless for women.

    • If it's really ruling your life like it's sounds like it is, then you need to work that shyte out, or talk to someone until you've got it worked out.

  • My ex was very hairy and he still gets woman. I used to tell him to wax it all but he never would for me. For me this is not a deal breaker maybe to some woman that are only into looks into looks but not to me. If a girl decides she does not want to date you because of your hair then why would you want to date someone like that anyways. Your going to find a great girl who likes you for who you are.

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    • Even you hated hairiness of your ex? Then how did you manage to get intimate with him and find him attractive? Was he insecure? Am going to find a "great" girl! Yup a girl has to be great to date excess hairy monkey like me!

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    • Idk, I just don't feel like waxing my whole body regularly. It would be such a mess and hassle and pain in the b?tt to keep waxing my whole body regularly. Ok, be honest pls, do I deserve women? Am I worth women just like other normal men? Be brutally honest PLEASE.

    • Yes you do derseve to have a woman what kind of a question is that. You sound like a great guy who derseves to meet a great girl. I actually think you have deeper issues then body hair. Body hair is not going to stop you from finding a great woman. Also I think your going after the wrong woman those that only look at looks. Do you go after hot woman?

  • Don't be ridiculous, watch bond movies from the 60s and you'll see that hairiness was totally hot and masculine back then. Maybe don't use topless pics as an ice breaker, but ask them if they find sean connery hot. if they dont, ask someone else.

    Also, maybe wait before the girl likes you more or falls in love w you before shoving your hairiness in her face, then she won't care. my boyfriend had moles and I hated moles, but I fell in love and now I'm like meh, not even grossed out by them lol.

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    • Am way too much hairy than those bond guys of the 60s :(

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    • Should I also shave /wax myself anywhere on my body?

    • may as well try, if it will make you more comfortable with yourself. You could also less be desperate for a girl to accept it right away and make a joke of it like, yeah I'm hairy, like animal, if you see her look at you funny. Look I have no idea how hairy you are, but not all girls will be turned off.

  • to be honest Id quit telling girls that. Let them judge that for themselves.

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    • If they found it out later and then turned me down due to it, won't it be more disheartening and painful to me?

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    • @ s. Acting weird? Telling some harsh fact to a girl is weird? Maybe they are scared by my extra body hair!

    • What you think you're saying is not what she hears. You're not just telling her a "harsh fact" that you've got a lot of body hair, you're basically telling her that she shouldn't date you because you've got unattractive amounts body hair, and that I'd classify as weird (&unattractive) behavior . And they are not going to be scared by your body hair ;) Unless possibly if you're trying to date 12 year olds in which case you have a completely different problem :P

  • You know, there are ways you can get rid of that hair if you want to :)

    Otherwise, there is someone out there for everyone and you will find someone who likes you just the way you are :)

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    • Yup, I can remove. But monkeys don't remove hair, humans do it. Lol. But two girls turned me down due to it. Am so disheartened and insecure. Also feel inferior.

What Guys Said 1

  • You didn't make a wrong move.

    It means that she's just not into you.

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    • I tried telling it to two women. Both were not into lots of hair. Would it be hard for me to find a woman due to my overly hairiners?

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