I cheated on my boyfriend. now what?

So, I have been with my boyfriend for six years now. I care about him a lot. But I couldn't help falling for this other guy when things got long distance with my boyfriend . I want to tell my boyfriend about what I did but the thought of how hurt he would be stops me. It is not that I am scared that he would leave me because of what happened. I would deserve that. But the thought that he would feel devastated that he wasted 6 years of his life loving someone who cheated on him, just made me keep quiet.However, I cannot live a normal life with him anymore. This bugs me 24*7. If your girlfriend had cheated on you what would you want...

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19

Most Helpful Guy

  • Been there, survived that. (she did it 3 times, thus I'm nearly an expert :-p)

    It isn't that easy.

    Get tested first. NO unprotected sex WITH ANYONE until you can have an HIV test done, that's about 100 days after unprotected sex. The other STD's can be found after a few weeks.

    No unprotected sex with any person until you're tested (AND healed)

    #-If you're fed up with him (and IF he has been kind to you), invent another excuse to dump him, like the urgent need to have kids or your family intervening: he'll feel better that way. (I got invited to her marriage and brought a present)

    #-If you want to stay with him, don't ever tell it. Yes, you'll have to bear your dirty little secret forever, it will be your normal life. Lots of people (M/F) have dirty little secrets like that.

    What isn't known doesn't hurt.

    Thus if you tell it to him, it's not for him but for YOUR own comfort.

    If you tell it, he might feel justified to do it too, even if you get his pardon. Yes, it will be harder for you than telling it and making him your unwilling 50% accomplice. Live with it and don't do it again. (but you'll probably do it again a few or many times anyway)

    Next time, take care not to get an std and/or get pregnant.

    USE CONDOMS, damn it!

    Btw, if you have religious problems with what you did, convert to Roman Catholicism: you confess to a RC priest , say you regret it , then you say 17 prayers and you're clean like a baby (if the doctors say the same, of course!)

    Now, let the down voters come. :D

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What Guys Said 8

  • That's why LDRs don't work - that's why even making a distance while already in a committed relationship will certainly ruin it 'coz the temptation is way too much to handle, we are living beings after all..

    Now don't get me wrong - I'm totally not defending you, what you did is awful and unforgivable - I'm just making my point for others to see, to think twice before putting (a temporary) end to their day-to-day, face-to-face contact

    He already has wasted six years of his life, regardless whether or not you'll tell him, he just doesn't know it yet - a lot of people keep making terrible mistakes about many different things - and they won't know it, they won't know it that they actually made a mistake in the first place

    So don't leave him in darkness any longer, give him a chance in his life to find a girl who will be faithful to him instead of being stuck in this nothingness, wasting hi time.. and you need.. I don't know - remain single, go clubbing - you're the type of person who needs variety - usually men seek variety and women seek stability but occasionally there are exceptions

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    • ...also who said that HE didn't cheat you too while things were long distance? You don't know it

  • I'm a guy myself and personally if my girlfriend had cheated on me, I would want her to tell me instead of letting herself get beat up by herself and stressed. Cause I worry about her more than myself, if I were in your shoes I would tell him. If he loves you enough and see how sorry you are for doing it, their is a chance that he will most definitely stay with you.

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  • What do yu mean,you can't live a normal life? Just long distance? That doesn't seem like such a good excuse...but I think you did the right thing not to tell him.

    If this was just a passing fancy, why ruin so many good years, as you say?

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  • I prefer not to know if a significant other had cheated on me.

    Had several experience of this in the past and usually the aftermath isn't easy to deal with, more often than not the relationship can never be the same again as the trust is all but gone.

    The last girlfriend I had cheated on me due to temporary long distance as well, she told it to me because she thought she had been busted, she wanted to continue the relationship, I was indifferent and essentially kept her for 6 months as a FWB and that was it, in the end we broke up because she felt I just didn't care enough about her which I didn't any longer.

    If you do want to tell him then you will need to be ready for every eventuality and also for it to be known by more than just him alone.

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  • Tell him you cheated and then allow him to f*** another girl to make it even.

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  • Just tell him, be honest. The truth is more important than feelings.

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  • I would leave her right off the spot.

    Tell him what happened honestly.

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  • 'I care about him a lot'

    no you don't.

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What Girls Said 1

  • No offense but if you loved him so much you wouldn't have cheated on him whether he was here next to you or a continent apart. People who are committed don't make such mistakes. I agree with everyone else instead of guilt tripping yourself now its better to not be selfish and tell him everything. You didn't hesitate to cheat on him so don't hesitate to tell him the truth.

    I know this sounds horrible and bi***y but its only the truth. Sometimes its sweet sometimes its bitter.

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