Why do guys keep their exs stuff?

okay my boyfriend kept a letter from his ex and he had a picture of her and I finally told him that it bothered me and he finally ripped it up and told me he loved me but he kept his other exs letter that she wrote saying how much she loved him and blah blah.. why does he keep old stuff like that around when he loves me? they were together for 2 years but they had a bad relationship. me and him have been dating for 9 months now and he said I'm the one that he wants to settle down with and actually loves alot. he's already asked me if id be with him forever snd be his wife oneday which I don't know what that means like I don't know if hel propose after a certain amount of time or not. I can't read minds but he seems like he really means it. my thing is why does he keep his exs stuff? I dnt keep my exs crap because its bad memories

any suggestionss? and how should I feel about that ?i feel he loved her a lot and I won't get that much love from him because he's hanging on to her. theyve been broken up for 6 yrs.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Coming from a guy, I wouldn't think anything of him keeping them.

    I've kept a few of the things from my relationship with my ex-fiancé, such as a few notes, a stuffed animal she gave me, and other meaningful things. This was a bad relationship, and I burned a lot of her letters, but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of everything because it was a 5 year long chapter of my life.

    What would bother me with this situation is getting them out in front of you. He shouldn't do that. Its one thing to pack these things up in a box and store them (such as I do), but its completely different to look through these things often.

    All in all, he's with you now. Its that simple. A great idea would be to replace them. In other words, write him letters, notes, etc. that are even sweeter than the ones his exes have written him. This will show him that you care about him, even more that his past exes did. I don't think you have much to worry about.

    It could be much worse. You could be dating someone who is roommates with their ex like me lol.


What Girls Said 1

  • I have gone through the same EXACT thing with more than one guy. The way my current boyfriend explained it is that it's still a part of his life, and his memories, and it's important to him to keep these things, even if the memories aren't always GOOD ones, because regardless, he learned from them.

    I think it's not necessarily them hanging on (usually) but rather them just remembering something and not wanting to get rid of that. For example, while I don't keep my ex's old stuff or letters, I do still have prom pictures, etc, just because of the memories.

    I don't blame you for being bothered though, it bugs me too. I would suggest talking to him when you're both calm. Tell him why it upsets you (without sounding like you're blaming him, it sounds like he really cares about you!) and then ask him what keeping these things means to him. Maybe he just hasn't even THOUGHT about getting rid of them, my boyfriend does that a lot, he forgets he even has pictures or letters still!