How could someone be so heartless?

Today I met my ex at school. We have a month left before we graduate from our school and start finding jobs. We been together for 6 months. I felt as if it was the best 6 months that I ever had. She also told me I was her best boyfriend. She was with one guy for 5 years and another for 2 years. She told me she really cared for me and loved me. I basically treated her as a queen. My friend told me if you put somone on the pedestal. They have no other place but to look down. All the things that I did for her she turns around and told me it was all materialistic, pitying her, and trying to buy her love. In what other ways could I be a good boyfriend by buying her stuff, cook for her, provided emotional support, hug her, call her beautiful. I do have some problems though. I would push her away throughout the relationship though because I have abandonment issues. I could never understand why my dad left us when I was 7. I could never really trust anyone after that. Plus my ex cheated on me.

I do admit I made a mistake by breaking up with her instead of talking it out. I felt that when we first went out she didn't intiate any calling or anything. I would always be the one doing it. I figure she didn't put in the same effort so I decided to break it off before any true feelings develop. She was really sad and sent me sad messages. She told me she almost fainted. I drove right over her house to comfort her and told her I was sorry. Lately after that I found out she was flirting with another guy that she did somethign with over the summer. He was her high school friend. Well needless to say I never really trusted her after that. Everyone that I trusted somehow left me really emotionallly torn. I trusted her and told her my secrets that and show her another side of me that wasn't so pretty.

We basically broke up over a drink. I always make stuff for her and cook for her. I brought a drink that I Haven't even tried yet so she could tried it. When she left to the restroom I took a sip of it, but forgot to leave it back on her side. After she came back she totally ignore me. I reminded her that she never really actually ask me how I was doing cause I was sick the other day. She told me she was tired of me playing games by takign the drink away from her. We had an argument and she told me to get the f-ck out of her house. That was the final straw

She told me I was her best boyfriend, loved me, and cared for me. We are not together anymore, but she could of at least talk to me or acknowledge me. She just walk pass by me as if we never even met before and total strangers. It was one of the worse feelings I had in a very long time. I almost broke down today, but my friends told me to don't let her actions phase me. She was all happy in front of other people. After I felted better I started talking to the other people in class. She got really quiet after that. I don't know if she ignored me on purpose to try to get me to be mad.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bro, I'm really sorry for everything that you had to go through, and I really understand the way you feel right now. Things can seem really hard at times, and we can get so overwhelmed that we might even start questioning whether life is really worth living or not. OK, this last one is a bit extreme and might not be your exact case but I want you to know it's totally understandable.

    I'm going to be brutally honest and tell you that, in my opinion, the problem is not her, it's YOU. You've got issues, you know them, and those issues undoubtedly affect the quality of relationships you want to have. Human beings have needs, emotional needs and physical needs. The strategy we use to satisfy those needs depends on our expectations: Realistic expectations lead to satisfaction, unrealistic ones lead to dissatisfaction. In your case, your expectations for the relationship, as fair and morally right as they might seem, were unrealistic. It's not your fault, you did what you truly believed was the right thing, the thing that came out of your heart (the putting her on a pedestal thing); problem is nobody tells us what relationships truly are, what to do, and what to expect out of them. This misinformation problem is ridiculously common. You are not the first man to make this big mistake. And you will surely not be the last one.

    You're a man, a rational being specialised in solving problems, that's what evolution gave you that big brain of yours for. You need to understand what the root of your problem is in order to learn from it, take action, and solve it. You're problem, in my opinion, can be found in your title question: How could someone be so heartless? Your lack of understanding of women is your, in lack of other term, "sin". Your ex had a completely normal female behavior and I'm even surprised your relationship lasted 6 months. Women are no mystery, bro, they're actually simple creatures who respond to simple rules; rules to apply only to them, not to Us.

    My advice: Learn Game. Although Game was initially born as a tool to get laid, nowadays it's more about regaining the long lost Masculinity in order to become the best Man one can be. think about it.

    Good luck, bro.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I have to agree with one of the posters above. She's not really being heartless. To be honest, you have emotional problems that you need to fix. Despite everything, you broke up with her. She's under the impression that if you ever loved her at all, you wouldn't have done that. She's trying hard to get over you.

    If you want to be friends eventually, try and be patient and give her a month or two. Then talk to her :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • You were as heartless as her. If she did something wrong then so did you.

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  • Well, she's trying hard to move on.

    You should just find a new girl for yourself.

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