Boyfriend & ex girlfriend

My great boyfriend is sweet, funny, and an all-around amazing guy. We have been together for 8 months...We are engaged and I am head over heels in love with him so I really want to work out this issue...I am very comfortable with him..this, though, make me feel uncomfortable:

He went to visit his ex-girlfriend one on one last month. They hung out the whole day. He decides to tell me about the plans with her while he's with her..to make me jealous. And he waited until AFTER he made plans to tell me..not taking my feelings into consideration.. I felt angry,hurt and jealous, helpless and vulnerable. I told him I wasn't okay with him hanging out with girls one on one before. I told him when he does this, it hurts me. Thankfully, he hasn't been doing any thing like this lately..but I am afraid he might do something like this again..Nothing happened between them that day. But what if he sees her again? What should I do if this happens again? Or, more importantly; What should I do to prevent this behavior ?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • he was so disrespectful when he did that to u,this is a guy you want to marry? he hid the plan until he was there and you think he told you to make you jealous? is that the excuse he gave u? you sound a little nieve I'm sorry to be so blunt,u think you know 100% for sure nothing happened with his ex and him? why did he even go see her..i wouldn't marry this guy,its been 8 months,big red flag.already ..when you have had even more time together, don't think he won't do it again and maybe worse..treck cautiously girl

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What Guys Said 1

  • You should talk this out to him.

    Let him know what you're feeling.

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What Girls Said 4

  • So what you're saying is, he's keeping secrets, intentionally trying to make you jealous, and disregarding your feelings. You're jealous and distrustful, trying to control his behavior, and unwilling to communicate with him in a mature fashion. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

    Call off the engagement and work on your relationship for a while before you start thinking about a lifelong commitment. Build up trust, communication, and teamwork between the two of you. In an ideal trusting relationship, he'd let you know, "Hey, I'm hanging out with (ex-girlfriend) next week" and you'd respond, "Cool, tell her I said hello." No secrets, no distrust. And if you still didn't like it, you would feel comfortable saying, "I feel kind of weird about that" and he would reply, "If you're uncomfortable with it, I won't go. I don't want to hurt you." That's what a lifelong partnership should look like. No jealousy, no control, just trust and respect.

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  • you can't prevent anything but you do not have to put up with it,give him an ultimatum...what if you went to see someone you slept with,would he be OK with it after the fact? hell no and the fact that he didn't tell you till after is proof he knows its wrong and then he flips it by saying he wanted to make you jealous...why the hell would someone who loves YOU and is engaged to you want to make you jealous,u have the right to be bothered by it,theres no way to sugar coat this. Don't be blind because you are in love..thats when you get blind sided.

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  • I agree with QueenBeatris! I'm sure something happened especially when it comes to a guy seeing a girl let alone an EX girl.

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  • Tell him you're not comfortable with him seeing his ex. Its pretty easy to understand.There's nothing you can do to enforce that so to speak but he won't do it again if he loves you.

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