So basically I have this cousin who is about 3 years younger than me but we didn't really meet till we were in your teens. As the years went on we got to know each other a lot better and just a little while ago, I moved into her attic because it was allot closer to where I would be working. Now here is where things get f***ed up. We have gotten really close, to the point where we talk everyday and the days we don't talk just feel weird now. I've always known my cousin was very beautiful but now I even have sexual feelings for her. At first I thought it was just lust because she has a very nice body, but now I'm positive it's much more than that. I'm pretty sure I'm falling for my freaking cousin!
I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure she also feels something for me as well. I can't really explain it but the way she acts around me now compared to how she did is much different. For example, I constantly check her out and I often let her catch me check her out, and she doesn't mind at all. she's much flirtier around me as well. Whenever we sit together somewhere our legs, will almost always be pressed up against one another. She's always using smiley faces when she texts me, which she doesn't use with anybody else. On the flip side, there's times when she will start acting much colder towards me and I have no idea why.
Right now is one of those times when she's acting more distant and uncaring and I can't tell you how depressed it has me. I don't know what the f*** is wrong with me. Why the hell do I have feelings for my cousin? It's at times like these that I know I have to end this right now and get rid of these feelings but how do I do it? I've tried to simply avoid her in the past hoping that they will eventually fade away but then It just looks like I'm being a d*** to her because it's regular for us to talk and hangout everyday and eventually I crumble and just go back to regular. I feel so stuck. There is nobody I can talk to about this, and I have no Idea what to do. I feel like if I could just tell her my situation and what I need to do to solve this problem, that I would be able to move past this all. Is that a bad idea? How would I go about doing that? Please help me!
Please only leave constructive answers. Believe me, I know how f***ed up and wrong this is, I don't need to hear anything of that nature.
Most Helpful Girl
Her hot-cold behavior is probably because she feels something for you too (when she's hot) but she knows it's wrong/not socially acceptable (when she's cold). While in our culture this is considered abnormal, it's not that "f***ed up" or wrong. Did you know your marriage would actually be legal in a majority of states? And in some cultures, this is not only normal, but encouraged. Some native Alaskan tribes believe that the best mate/partner you can have is your maternal cousin. And I'm sure you know that intermarriage among European royalty has until quite recently been acceptable! While that would be a very difficult relationship in most Western societies today, it's not as weird or abnormal as you think. Meeting as teens certainly didn't help; when you meet as children, you form a natural "off limits" impulse about family. But when you meet as hormone-crazy teenagers, this doesn't always happen.
It would really help you to get a therapist's perspective on all this. If you could go once a week or so for a month or two, I'm sure you'd feel a lot better! I'd really recommend it (: and a therapist could help you determine whether or not you should talk to your cousin, and how to proceed if this is the appropriate course of action1