Should I try to be something?

There is this girl that I was close with, I thought we was going to get together but a couple of months ago she got back with an ex and we had a talk and we decided not be around each other. However she broke up with the guy and now she is trying to talk to me and blow her of the last couple of time. I do miss her but I'm thinking there can't be anything between us, can there be something there?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't change yourself for anyone

    You have a girl that is emotionally destroying you...

    just say I don't really care and move on.. trust me on this… its not worth trying to be with them here because even though you might “win” you will definitely get messed up harder by the “loss”

    also.. it is important to have a carefree abundance attitude..some girls are really retarded and its a really bad idea to put your eggs into one basket (one girl) because when she flakes/cheats/lies/whatever you will be crushed/pissed/etc.

    the smart way is to have multiple options to avoid pain

    a man is only as faithful as his options…

    seriously.. though

    if you are in a relationship and have absolutely no prospects (girls texting you..flirting … wanting to hook up.. etc).. its just a matter of time.. if you have no other options you’re gonna get messed up one day…

    thats the problem with relationships

    people become content.. get fat.. get lazy… just let themselves slide.. ignorance is bliss..until they realize there is no escape from the sexual market

    … fast forward a bit

    when the forces of nature (2 year expiration window) end your relationship – its over..

    just like that.. everything you’ve poured your heart and soul into gets destroyed..

    you lose a part of yourself in every failed relationship– remember that

    thats why the best situation is to have multiple options and to BAIL (and never look back) at the first sign of trouble.


    you alone define what is too much trouble..

    maybe it is

    1. girl hanging out with other guys

    2. girl cheating on you

    3. girl not having sex often enough

    4. girl lying to you

    5. whatever

    there is a line we all have to draw (and the further you go the less self respect is left and the more needy,desperate you are.. basically its up to you how much disrespect from her you’re willing to tolerate)

    just remember.. there comes a point when there are more important things than notches/lays/”value”. .. I know but there are some lines not worth crossing … namely:

    1. girls that have dated or are dating your close friends (unless you don’t mind the friendship ending)

    2. exes (self-explanatory)

    3. girls with husbands/family (yeah I know its tough.. but I don’t tread this dangerous territory – boyfriends are bad enough)

    4. girls with mental issues (bipolar, ADHD, extreme druggies, etc )

    learning how to deal with them is just like everything else in life.. its meant to be fun.. its meant to help you understand and succeed.. but once the stakes get too high you really should say FO and bail.

    this way you never put yourself at risk; because you don’t gamble with what you can’t afford to lose.. and you can’t afford to lose yourself.

    trust me on that,

    good luck Bro :)


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Hey the same thing happened with me, except I was the girl. The girl broke up with her ex for a reason, and if she doesn't love him anymore, then believe it.

    If she's trying to get back together with you, then you should at least hear her out. The only thing is, don't let yourself be the rebound guy. Don't let her talk about her ex when you're together, it will only make her miss her ex more and compare you to him. Make it clear that you are NOT her ex.

    If you miss her, you should talk to her. Silence only makes misunderstandings grow, and come on, you only live once, so give it a shot!

    Good luck : )

    • Thanks! and am very careful about not being the rebound guy.

What Guys Said 1

  • You shouldn't try to change yourself with a girl.

    If she doesn't want you for who you are now, she will not even accept you even if you change yourself.