We broke up.... and then his birthday gift arrived in the mail

So, recently got out of a long term relationship, It was so wonderful while it lasted. However due to the fact that we wanted different things, it sadly fell apart. There was no hatred, no screaming, just two people having to deal with the hard truth and breaking it off.

We are however, giving each other time and space to move on with hopes that we can be friends someday (and when I mean space I mean no talking or anything).

Here is where it gets a smidge confusing to me.

Before things went south I ordered his birthday gift.. It wasn't expensive or any sentimental token, but it can't be returned because It is a flask with his name engraved on it. (crap). Now his birthday is right around the corner. So with that said, I find that I have two choices.

1. send it to him on his birthday and hope he doesn't think too much into it

2 Send it to him when we are actually talking and friends again and tell him I didn't feel it was appropriate to give it to him till now.

both are risky and one maybe obvious, But due to the circumstances I feel like I need a guys opinion...if you were in said ex's shoes, which would you think is the better choice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow...I'm going to answer your question because I am in a similar situation because my girl gave me the "its not you, its me" speech. With us, there was no shouting, but I told her I could never be friends. We parted with watering eyes.

    Before she left, I made her promise not to feel bad if I gave her her gift, which were tickets to a concert in 2 weeks. I know you probably don't care, but I did what I thought was right, because like you, I couldn't use the gift I got.

    If I were you, I wouldn't give it to him at all. Reason being, if you send it to him now, he will be extremely confused, and it would make the getting over you stage difficult. Then, if you give it to him when you're friends again, it might bring back the memories of being with you, which if it were me, would make me a little sad. But then again, if it was me, we'd never be friends to begin with.

    Whatever you do, definitely don't do number 1


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • When I broke up with my girl "friend"...and I stress the word "friend", she had bought me something for Christmas. I knew what it was..and it doesn't matter to me now because I don't need it anymore, but..she never gave it to me...it's up to you if you want to give it to him still but, just remember, you may come off as a bitch, if you don't..since I now see her as one

  • I would just put it in the trash, if I were you.

  • I have a similar situation. I was never dating her but we both made it clear how we feel about each other. We want different things, though. She is everything I've ever wanted. I want to be with her, but she says she just wants to be friends even though she told me she thinks I'm attractive, that she flirts with me, that she has feelings for me and cares about me. It's really confusing for me. I need that space of no talking or anything like you're saying to get over her. But every time she says even a word to me it's harder. So if it was me, I would not want you to send the flask.


What Girls Said 1

  • Is it a common name? If so you could just post it on eBay maybe...or another similar site.


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