Email ex-boyfriend or just leave it be?

I'm 35 and met my ex 3 months ago (just broke up one week ago today). Kissed on our first date and it was incredible. We spent a lot of quality time together and he ended up telling me he was falling in love with me. We had such a great dynamic and shared so many common interests/life goals. I could tell he was genuinely happy. He treated me like a lady and told me everyday how lucky he was and how special I was and how he had been searching for someone just like me his entire life and couldn't wait to spend his future with me. He told me he would never leave me because I was the best girlfriend in the world. Our chemistry was off the charts but that wasn't why we were so happy. We had lots of amazing conversations -it was hands down the best 3 months of my life. We are both divorced as of last year and we both made it clear in the beginning that we were over our divorces and ready to move on. Well, fast forward 3 months and he ended it out of nowhere. He said he felt depressed and needed therapy (it seemed he was very insecure from the divorce and being cheated on). He said he saw his ex-wife and she said she regretted all the times she cheated on him during his marriage and now she is broke and needs his help. He then proceeded to tell me he would never get back with her and getting divorced was the best decision of his life. He said things were moving a little fast for him and if there was any doubt at all he couldn't be with me and that he had too much respect for me to drag me around until he got his head fixed and got out of debt (from his ex-wife). He looked at me and told me I was amazing and beautiful and that he knows he will regret breaking up with me. Then I just left after he tried to give me a hug. I was heartbroken but didn't want to get angry with him because I truly care about him. I text him a really nice message that night telling him I understand where he is coming from because I know how hard divorce is and I went through counseling for 3 months before I could get my head right. He said thanks and said he would like to get coffee but he needed time and space to fix his head and get his finances in order. Now, I didn't contact him for 5 days and then I sent him a message last night to let him know I hope the dog was doing OK (had surgery) and he didn't respond. I'm not even looking to get back with him. I just want him to know how much I admire him for being honest with me and I want him to know I truly want to be a part of his life as friends. We had such a good connection and I know we didn't date for a long time but I learned so much about myself from him and even though he dumped me- I've never felt so good (sounds insane). I want to email him all of this but don't want him to think I expect anything or want to get back together. I just want him to know what a great impact he had on my life. Is it better to just leave him alone and let him figure his stuff out or email him something positive seeing as I went through all the same things.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You should just leave him be.

    You're better off without him, even though you've shared good times with him.


What Girls Said 1

  • I honestly wouldn't say anything. I'm sure he knows how much you care and admired him if you too had such amazing chemistry. I would just let him be and get his head on straight again. If he really likes you he will come back to you in time

    • thank you! Usually I would just email him and hope for the best but I'm using all my self control because I care about him and do not want to pressure him or disrespect him by not giving him his space. I'll continue to date and meet other people and whatever happens...happens. :) If it was meant to be he will come around- like you said, he knows how much I care.

    • life is stupid you know... just enjoy it, there is sad or happiness... just go in flow...if he really wants you, he is going back and contact you. try to meet other guy and enjoy it the experience sadness and happiness...thats make our life interesting, and not bored

Recommended myTakes