Heartbroken and need help please.

Ok so here is my story, my husband cheated on me more than once with a woman from his work, tells me he is sorry and loves me and wants to stay with me. But becomes very nasty when I ask him questions or want to talk about it with him, even gets up and walks away from the conversation when he does not want to hear tThe truth.

I want to know how if you cheated on someone that you love and have been together for years and years would you act towards the one you say you love to win her back?

Also how is getting your back up and adding to the trust issues fixing anything that the cheater broke?

I love him but have a huge broken heart and his actions tell me he just wants to forget it and have me forgive him with out being able to have my hurt or pain or anger heard by him.

In all the years I have been with him I have never seen him act like this, I know he loves me, always has but is it possible he has no clue about what he has done to me and that's why he treats me like this?

We have been together since high school so it's a very long time for a person to be with someone, both vergins when we met and fell in love.

This is so hard for me and really want answers on how others would fix and repair the damage if they were the cheaters.

Also do I have the right to be angry and sad and heartbroken over what was taken from me that I can never get back? Trust, honesty, respect and every other wedding vowel that was ever spoken.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The trust will only heal if you let it.

    My girlfriend cheated on me pretty badly in January, I just forgave it and moved on, I don't hold grudges or anyhting like that and just trusted again as always.

    But ofc I because of my stupid easy trust few days ago she did it agian in an even worse way, and new we're trhough again.

    So it is simply all upto you if you just want to take the chance or not. If you let it go on then there is no point to hold grudges or distrust, nothing is born form that, but ofc the same cheating on a worse scale may happen all over again.

    You just have to know how strong the willpower of your partner is to not do it again, I overestemated my girlfriends willpower and it went all over again.

    Do'nt expect there to be some ritual or pact you will make to get the trust back. If you want to give it a new chance then you must just accept what happent and hold no grudges.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • You guys have a lot of issues to work through. I was married for 4 years and got divorced by 28- now I'm a single Mom. Leaving my ex after he cheated on me was the hardest thing I ever did but I'm so happy now. He had checked out of the marriage and didn't want to go to counseling. If your husband is willing to go to counseling you should go - immediately. Don't try to figure things out on your own just yet. This is going to take a lot of work from both of you and it will be a daily struggle but if you're both willing to work on it and seek help you can get through anything. I wish my husband would've stayed and got help because he had zero coping skills and it sounds like your husband has a lot going on and needs guidance. You're a team and you both need to be committed to couples therapy and work at it every day. good luck..i know its hard.

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  • I don't put up with no crap. Simple as that. If he were really happy he wouldn't have cheated on you, you know? I'm not saying its your fault.

    My ex and I were together for 3 and 1/2 years. High school sweethearts. He left me twice for 2 other girls. I took him back and then the 2nd time he left I kicked him out of my life for good. I can't tell you the number of times he has come back striving for a friendship. But I wouldn't have it.

    It was the best decision I ever made in my life (haha I'm only 20). Found another guy...who I'm still chasing after a year -_-. ugh anyway, how many times can you forgive him? He says he loves you, darlin if he loved you he wouldn't have cheated. Hands down no excuses.

    Dont let him hurt you again. Just don't do it! Be strong! You gotta make the decision to benefit yourself!

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  • It will take time but honestly I wouldn't put up with the cheating.

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