My ex is coming back again, but under him conditions AGAIN

My ex and I broke up because we lived in the different countries and he started the relationship saying that he will come and live in my city. As months passed by he was completely changing his story. In the end, when he thought that I have to accept his conditions (since we slept together and he was my first) and so he started to bring up the real story... That he expects me to come live in his country, forget about working (he would like to find me a job but he can't promise, and I'm a MD and I have a great job in my home town), leave my PhD studies (or continue but while carrying children), leave my family and friends, while he wouldn't change anything and continue all of his activities. I said that I can't accept that. After a few months of not contacting there's him again! Asking if he can come and see me. I asked him what he expects from our meeting. He answered- I didn't think about it yet. I said- If nothing has changed, we have no point to see each other since I have already paid enough for your "not-thinking". Now I feel like I have made a mistake. What do you think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Long distant relationships are the hardest I think you have already made the right decision you have invested a lot of time and money in your career path as well it is one your family and friends have given you support in for you to take that path.

    And made sacrifices for you to be where you are.

    If you are to be having children then your support base is so important and not having your family and friends around you will be the hardest thing you will face, particularly being in a foreign country. Don't sell your self short one thing I know especially with children and as a MD you would know is that they thrive when you are happy.

    Your career path should be as important to him as much as any other part of your relationship and your happiness should be his greatest concern because that's the role of a husband, you need to be where you are most happy he may be your first and that is special to you but that doesn't mean you should give up everything, you deserve a lover who will climb mountains and cross seas for you.



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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • "I asked him what he expects from our meeting. He answered- I didn't think about it yet. I said- If nothing has changed, we have no point to see each other since I have already paid enough for your "not-thinking". Now I feel like I have made a mistake. What do you think?"

    I think you did the right thing, that's what I think.

    Do you know WHY he couldn't tell you what he expects from meeting you?

    Because what he was HOPING was that you'd have sex with him, and he couldn't very well TELL you that, now could he? Look, getting back together with this guy is only going to land you in exactly the same painful situation that you just got out of.

    You did not make a mistake.

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What Girls Said 3

  • This guy is just selfish for wanting you to uproot yourself for his sake without trying to compromise. I am sure his selfishness had brought pain and anger to you before. Hence, I strongly feel that you had made the right decision. This man is just a waste of your time and feelings.

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  • Girl, this guy is NOT worth your time. I say you move on and find a good guy from your own country. Long distance relationships never work!

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  • Someone who wants you to drop everything to suit their needs, certainly does NOT have your best interest in mind. Relationships are about compromise, and he appears to be willing to do none. You have not made a mistake.

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