For almost a year and a half now, I've been with my girlfriend. And up until a couple months ago, we were perfect. Our beginning wasn't the best for a few different reasons but, we got past it. Something or should I say someone has popped up recently that has completely changed my view on my relationship for the most part.
This person is an ex of mine that I had broken up for all the wrong reasons. Unfortunately I failed to realize that until a year or so later after having a falling out with a friend and their famiy, that I thought had my best interest in mind with their advice but, only had their own. that's a whole different story in itself but, it was someone that was basically a sister to me. After coming to this realization, I made the attempt to right my wrongs with the ex in hopes that I could be with her again. It didn't go as I wanted. Mainly because she had already moved on with another guy. Even though that failed, I was able to apologize for everything, which was something she had been waiting for. My buds girl is her best friend so, we do see each other sometimes. And each time, I don't know how to act because I can't act the way I really want to with her deep down inside. I still love this girl like crazy.
Couple months ago I get a poke from her on fb. Insignificant maybe but, after a year almost of not really seeing each other, my curiousity spiked and my attitude changed. It brought me right back to when I discovered I had made a huge mistake in breaking up with her. My girl had noticed too but, I couldn't tell her why. So I sent her a message inquiring about the poke. Nothing heavy and wished her well regardless of a reply or not. Well, there was no reply so I tried to brush it off but, it was still on my mind. Recently I find out she wants to talk to me but is unsure as to what she would like to say. I was around her when this was brought to my attention but, there was no discussion. The tension however, could have been cut with a knife, like there always is. So...
What could she want to say? If its want to be better friends, is that something you really have to think about before you say it?
We have had zero to little contact which is why I'm perplexed by this.
Am I wrong for feeling scared about what I may do if, in fact, she tells me that she still loves me and wants to be with me?
If I was with the right person, would something like this make me question the relationship at all? I love my girl dearly but, there is a feeling I get when I'm around my ex that has not diminished at all over time.
Most Helpful Girl
First off, you wouldn't be a human being if you didn't stop to question things at some point. Just before any major steps are taken in any sort of venture it's good to sit down and assess the facts. (Granted that some people may go a little overboard with assessing and reassessing the situation, but that's another story for another day.)
Next, she has moved on, and you seem to have both taken a little TOO MUCH time to assess and reconnect. When you hit that "she's like a sister to me" mode there's no real coming back from that. She either is or she isn't. You would definitely feel love for her either way, but there's no sexual feeling connected to a "sisterly" sort of connection.
She may want to tell you that she's getting married; she may be wanting to ask you for a favor; she may be asking you to walk her dog while she's on vacation (because she trusts you)... It could be any number of things. She's hesitating because of your history together.
Now I'm going to tell you... don't over think this. To me it seems clear that this little email from this girl is the perfect "PARACHUTE" for you to jump off the plane that is your current relationship. You're not happy with your current relationship for whatever reasons (conscious or subconscious) that are nagging at you, so you suddenly see this little fleck of communication and see it as a second chance at life with this first girl, who you obviously have fond memories of. REMEMBER THAT YOU BROKE UP FOR A REASON. It seems like it was a bowl of cherries from this vantage point, but take a moment to remember the days where all you could see were the pits. If you broke up for insignificant reasons, it wouldn't have taken this long to reconnect...
Yes, you would be questioning even if you were with the perfect girl now because this old girlfriend has captured your imagination and because you are in a phase where you can be easily swayed -- that is, you DON'T ACTUALLY WANT THE RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU'RE IN NOW. If you did, you wouldn't put so much stock into what this old girlfriend is doing...1