People say tradition, but that seems more like a lame excuse. Surely girls most of you have WANTED sometimes to make the first move on a guy. What's REALLY stopped you? Do you not regret the missed opportunities?
Obviously by 'make the first move', I don't mean being friendly/nice and hoping the guy notices you and makes the first move. I mean doing something that makes it CLEAR you're sexually/interested in him.
IMO, the idea that if a guy is interested he will definitely make the first move, assumes that all three of the following are true:
1. the guy has unlimited time;
2. the guy already knows enough about you to think it worth his time/energy to approach you (different guys have different preferences, so obviously what will be 'enough' to one guy won't be 'enough' to another);
3. the guy is confident enough to approach any girl he's interested.
Most Helpful Girl
It depends on how you define "the first move". Is it making prolonged eye contact? A smile? A simple hi? Or something to start an entire conversation?
If it's all of the above, then I've done all of them. If I want something (or in this case, someone) I go get it. I see no reason for me to sit on my butt and expect everything to come to me. What if the guy won't notice me unless I say hi? And what if, once I've said hi, he immediately gets interested and thinks "wow, how come I haven't seen her here before". So the whole "if he's interested in me, he'll make a move" thing is bullsh*t. What if he hasn't noticed you? Or what if he's too shy for his own good? Then what? You're going to pass up an opportunity to get to know a possibly great guy? Nuh-uh, not me at least. I've chosen to sit back and do nothing so many times in my life, and not just when not wanting to make the first move, and it has always turned out to be a dumb decision. But, that's just me, so I can't speak for all girls.
Also, I don't think "tradition" is a lame excuse. If the girl has been brought up thinking that the man should be the one to initiate everything first, you can't exactly blame her. That's just what she believes, and I'm fairly positive that there are guys out there as well who believe that the guy should be the one making the first move. There's really nothing wrong with that. The only thing that can go wrong with a girl not wanting to make the first move, is if she acts all spoiled about it too. For example, she starts whining when only the "wrong" guys approach her, or even whines that NOBODY approaches her. That's the only problem I might have with girls not wanting to do anything.
And then we have the basics: fear of rejection, shyness, insecurities, bad previous experiences etc. The same things spinning around in a guy's head when he's contemplating whether to ask a girl out or not. But let me just tell you, there ARE a lot of girls and women out there who are ready to make the first move if needed. So there's no need to act like there are none, or only a rare few. You just haven't found them, yet.
- Show AllShow Less