Why did couldn't he be honest with me about this?

i find out he made some comments on a girls pic on fb...not a big deal to me. we aren't married but we were together 2 years. this was more of a shock to me, and I needed to re-evaluate our relationship. I didn't think he would do something like this so I just wanted to know if he wanted to talk to other girls, and I would let him...but we would not be together. when I confronted him I just was like hey saw some comments you made, so what's the deal with that. he flipped out. saying it was a joke and so what if he flirted he isn't married or engaged. I was like yes I know this but I don't want to be with you if you are talking to other girls. I know I wouldn't do this so we need to be on the same page. he was fired up and said I was insecure and crazy and hung up. then he didn't talk to me for a week so I basically knew I wanted to break up with him but decided to call him and try to see what he had to say now that it had been awhile. he was like I don't wanna hear you say I'm cheating unelss you catch me naked in bed with another woman, you were acting stupid and I won't put up with it. I said I didn't accuse him of cheating, I am just simply trying to see why you did it and if it is time for us to go separate ways. he gets mad again and says never talk to me again. 2 months later he texts me out the blue, hey...i was pissed, but responded you never loved me your not here now you never were don't mess with my feelings. he responded I wasn't with you to mess with your feelings, I left because you accused me of cheating.(I insisted he I didn't once again, because I never once used the word!) so we text back and forth over a few days, basically telling each other what we did wrong. I even totally said I shouldn't have even brought it up (at this point I was just seeing how far he would let me take it), he never apologized once, but I did repeatedly, knowing it was bs that I was the one saying sorry. then one day, to lighten the mood I just send him a pic of his favorite desert and asked if he wants some. he doesn't reply, I wait a whole day. then I just say orrrrr just ignore me. he texts back OK. I was like why are you being like that and THIS IS WHAT HE SAYS, "because I'm talking to someone right now, and I can't be talking to you like that because I don't cheat, and you said I was ignoring you so I can't make you out a liar, and plus I am working right now." like wtf kind of manipulation is this...after all he put me through I was digusted I was with him for 2 years even...so I told him OK, that's all you had to say and now I know I'm not crazy and I was right. he just says to tell myself whatever you need to...oh I was livid but I have not contacted him again...im just wondering why couldn't he have told me 2 months ago he wanted to see other people when I gave him the option? immature, but I guess it happens, but WHY?


Most Helpful Girl

  • All this over Facebook comments, Christ.

    My take is that he was offended you thought he wanted to seriously talk to other girls (when really he just made a few comments on a girl's picture), and that you would bring up separating over it. Both of you overreacted I think. His FB comments likely meant nothing, so it probably didn't need to be brought up, but he didn't need to storm off and not talk to you about it either. I don't think he even wanted to see other people, but he simply got defensive when you assumed he did and suggested breaking up. Just leave it now, it's a big mess, and there's no point analyzing it. He clearly doesn't want to fix anything or talk anymore, so just don't contact him again.

    For next time, don't read into what your guy does on Facebook and think he doesn't want to be with you. Sorry to say, but this guy was onto something when he said you were being insecure. You need to trust the guy you're with and your relationship, or it'll fall apart.

    • he told the girl she looked good on some motorcycle, but she would look better on his. then she said he should have brought it to some guys party so she could see it (he told me he went to his friends kids birthday party, now I know she was there) he is seeing this girl now.

    • this would never be an issue with a guy I was dating for a few months, we were together almost 2 years. he made it serious, looked at houses and rings kind of serious. never did anything like this that I know of, he hid it well. I only found out about the fb comments because one of my friends was friends with the girl. the first thing he asked was how I knew. and then all he cared about was who told me about the comments. but why would he just tell me. he lied.

    • I don't know, to me those comments sound flirty but relatively harmless. He's with her now yeah, but I mean it's been two months. As you say, he didn't even make those comments often, so the one time he does it probably shouldn't constitute talking about breaking up. That's just my opinion though.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No one knows why but him.


What Girls Said 1

  • Typically when people freak out like that over a question, it's because they're guilty of something. By starting a fight, they're able to take the spotlight off their actions. It's not bad to comment on a pic of another girl when you have a girlfriend, but his particular comment was bad. It was very inappropriate! I don't think he cheated, but do think he was thinking about it or about leaving soon. Sounds like he was interested in that girl, so he posted a flirty comment to let her know & by her response he'd be able to tell if she was interested back. He thought he was being slick, but you busted him & that pissed him off. If he'd been honest & broken up with u, he'd feel guilty for hurting u. But if he makes you out to be a crazy biatch, in his mind he can feel he had no choice but to leave & feels justified, therefore there's no guilt on his part. When the fight happened, that was his perfect exit out. If he's really dating someone, its a rebound & probably won't last. After, he may try coming back to u, but please remember...when a person shows you who they are...believe them! You know you deserve better, good luck!


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