What is the most appropriate thing to do here?

My group of friends includes my ex whom I'm not close to. We hardly even speak but when we have group outings she's there. Well tomorrow night they wanted to hang out as a group but my girlfriend isn't comfortable with the idea of me hanging out with exes. Especially since she won't be able to be there due to work priorities. What would be better? To lie to the friend that organized it saying I'm sick, tell her my girlfriend isn't comfortable with it and therefore we'll hang out another time or just go, which might cause some trouble.


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  • honesty. your friends should understand and your girlfriend needs to be OK with setting a precedent like that and then standing by it.

    I would just say something like, "sorry I can't make it dude, my girlfriend has to work and doesn't' feel too comfortable with me being around X (ex girlfriend). You know how it is. I'll try to catch up with you later"

    Now all that said you should try and talk to your girlfriend. Don't try to coax or coerce but try to reassure her that you hanging out with a group that includes your ex shouldn't be a concern. Explain that it is just the circumstances of the friend group. Because in all honesty it may be fine once for her to stop you from hanging with them but it could... IT WILL cause problems if every time she can't be there you have to tell your friends you can't hang out.

    Heeding your gf's request once or twice isn't a problem, but it isn't a good long term solution to her insecurity


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