What is the most appropriate thing to do here?
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What Guys Said 1
honesty. your friends should understand and your girlfriend needs to be OK with setting a precedent like that and then standing by it.
I would just say something like, "sorry I can't make it dude, my girlfriend has to work and doesn't' feel too comfortable with me being around X (ex girlfriend). You know how it is. I'll try to catch up with you later"
Now all that said you should try and talk to your girlfriend. Don't try to coax or coerce but try to reassure her that you hanging out with a group that includes your ex shouldn't be a concern. Explain that it is just the circumstances of the friend group. Because in all honesty it may be fine once for her to stop you from hanging with them but it could... IT WILL cause problems if every time she can't be there you have to tell your friends you can't hang out.
Heeding your gf's request once or twice isn't a problem, but it isn't a good long term solution to her insecurity
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