Its been 3 months and I am still not over her...

I dated this girl in college for a year and a half, I know it doesn't sound like very long, but I pretty much lived with her in her studio (she always wanted me around) and we both met each others families and did vacations and holidays together etc. She had a tough time with her friends for a solid year and we grew extremely close, we spent so much time together that I basically don't have my friends anymore.

Well she broke up with me right before Valentine's day and we live in the same apartment building so I see her all the time. We hooked up a couple times like two months ago, but we decided that was unhealthy, even if niether of us wanted to get back together.

It probably sounds weird to say I can't move on, but I don't want to get back together either. Truth is, the girl she is now, and the reason she dumped me, is because she is graduating and never had an "all out phase", so she wanted to go out all the time with her friends, like 3-4 times a week. I had no problem with this, but it was a radical change very fast from a girl who went to bed by 11 every night, even weeknights and preferred to just stay in watch a a movie and have a romantic dinner.

Now I find out she is seeing someone else, which for some reason really makes me way more angry than just random guys. I think because when we broke up, she was all "I just can't handle a relationship in general right now" and she was all about getting married and having kids and such, just two weeks before she dumped me she made me a love letter that said all those things, WTF?

Its been 3 months now and I am still sad and lost in my life. I even turned down this incredible girl who wanted to date me, but I couldn't because it wasn't fair to her that I am still not over my ex.

I just want to move on and I can't seem to do this. I know time heals, but any other ways to help? :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I too am going through the same thing. For the first month I couldn't be alone by myself without feeling like I was being suffocated in my own thoughts of him. I was in the same place I missed him like crazy, but also couldn't imagine every getting back together. My best advice to you is to find yourself again. Make an effort to spend more time with your friends and rebuild those connections, spending time with friends is the one thing that has really helped me. Also, I journal kinda girlie I know but its a way to releasee all the thoughts harbored in your mind, its a way a excreting all the toxic sad, angry, confuse thoughts you have about her so they don't overcome you and take over your every thought. I appreciate your considering the new girls feelings, many guys won't do that, they go for the rebound, however, I think that if you are honest with her about the fact that you are just getting out of a relationship and your not completely over, but would like to get to know her and take it slow you might find that this will help too. Obviously not saying just rebound, but talkign to another girl might show you there's a lot of fish and the sea and help youahve a more positive outlook on the situation. Positivity is key. If you can stay positive, you will get through it!

    • Hey thanks so much! These are all great things. I am so happy that my friends have been a great base group. I hope you work it all out as well!

Valentines Day

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Buy a tub of ice cream and watch sad movies, if not try music from Scary Kids Scaring kids... It's depressing, If not then just try to get a new girlfriend.

  • I am also going through a break up it is hard. I am trying to move on but the memories from the time we spent together keeps piercing my mind and breaking my heart. I have found comfort in closure, speaking to my friends crying and I try to focus on a new goal (like I am a bit busy signing up for school) and trying to see where I went wrong, accepting my mistake and moving on. Also you can find new things to do, I intend to help my dad with his business. Stay away from clubs and bars. find new meaning in life. I commend you for turning down the girl, never fall in love with a broken heart, its the reason my last relationship didn't work, all the best


What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Valentines Day