Why do guys show no emotion during a breakup?

ok so he was the one to breakup with me he broke up with me 2 month today. he admitted at the time it "was going to be hard" but its the best thing to do. however he told me he didn't miss me he clearly wasn't upset at all & he now goes to parties every weekend & he's happier than ever and he has completely moved on, how did he make it look so easy? I was part of his life for 2 years! he must feel something surely? I'm in the process of moving on and it is hard. however I have been begging him a lot and I have only recently just gave in and stopped and I am now doing 100% no contact. maybe this will be a wake up call to him? I don't want him back he has done far too much damage I just want him to realize what he has lost. ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The main issue you're going to run into here is that men are generally better about maintaining their social safety net (making time for friends, family, and time consuming hobbies) while in a relationship. Because of this, a breakup ends up being a crippling experience like it does for so many women. The reason why is because when you make time for friends, family, and your time consuming hobbies, you're never really "all in" with your relationship. This is a good thing because it prevents you from becoming too psychologically dependent on your SO, which is always unhealthy. Also, your buddies and your hobbies are right there to help keep your mind off things when the relationship ends.

    Basically, men have a tendency to take out a sort of psychological "If sh*t goes horribly wrong" insurance policy while in a relationship, and, as a result, end up not becoming psychologically dependent enough on the girl to be psychologically/emotionally crippled when it ends. It is, in my opinion, a very healthy thing to do and more girls should do it too.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Why would you want him to realize what he has lost, but then don't want him back. It's like you intentionally want revenge or to hurt him. If you love someone you let them free.

  • That's because they want to feel strong and a single girl won't break him.

  • " I just want him to realize what he has lost. ?"

    Good luck with that. Chances are he already knows, and just doesn't care.

    " I was part of his life for 2 years! he must feel something surely?"

    You obviously haven't learned much from dating a guy over 2 years. No, there's no reason he must be feeling something.

    It is well known that guys can move on like this, so fast and so completely that it freaks girls out. Freaks them out to the point where they question whether the guy ever felt anything or whether the whole relationship must have been sham.

    It probably wasn't a sham. It's just something that we, as guys, can do. And be honest, if you could avoid feeling pain and grief after a break up, you would choose to do the same. We're just taking advantage of something genetics has gifted us with : the ability to move on, quickly and painlessly.

    • I'd like to question whether you've ever been in love, because I don't think a man can move on painlessly from a woman he loved.

    • Show All
    • That's not true at all. It is common knowledge that it takes most guys longer to get over someone they loved than it does women. Women hurt more extremely and more openly. But once these few weeks of hell are over, you move on. Most guys hurt more silently and thus take longer to heal.

      There are always exceptions, of course. Then again, it sounds like you don't think there are exceptions to your theory

    • For someone who wants to talk about exceptions to a theory, you slam in pretty adamantly with your "That's not true at all" line.

      As a guy I think I'm better qualified to be honest with her about how guys work. You can give her all the comforting lies you like, about how he'll suffer quietly and for longer, but it won't do her any actual good.

What Girls Said 3

  • He says all these things because he wants you to understand that it's over. Guys think that they have to be clear, direct and mean so that you don't get your hopes up. Trust me, he feels something, too. But your relationship is clearly over and he is just trying to make you understand.

    Stop trying to make your entire life about him. The whole point of no contact is to concentrate on yourself. If it works to bring him back (which I don't think), it's a nice side-effect.

  • It's been two months since he broke up with you, he broke up with you for a reason. I'm guessing the reason was because he didn't feel that much love anymore for you?

    Yes, he has been upset by the break up, he would be heartless not to, but maybe he found out that it was a good decision and he enjoys his new found freedom?

    By cutting all contact just to show him what he's missing, that ain't gonna help. I'm not saying you should stalk him, just be friendly if he sees you or texts you, that's what I would do.

    If he doesn't realize it now, he won't realize it very soon I think.

  • It's time to let go, he did awhile ago. If you really want him to think he lost something, move on. Show him you've got the guts and the determination to continue living a happy life.


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