He left me without a word?

He wasn't my boyfriend, we were dating.. but was something between us.. we used to meet everyday, he even asked me if I want to be his girlfriend I said I need time ( I was still thinking about my ex) , we were kissing and we could talk just about anything..

But one day without a reason he just stopped contacting me, I set him message he didn't reply, after 2 days I sent him another message he replied that he is busy now he will write me soon..

Now it's 3 weeks he didn't write, I miss him and think about him everyday..

We could be at least friends, couldn't be? because I like him as a person and can't understand why after this what was between us he doesn't want to keep in any contact with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're both in the wrong here. You kinda did him wrong, and instead of confronting you, he took the cowardly way out.

    I was in this guy's shoes a month ago. I was with this girl for 2 months. We kissed, held hands, spent a night together, she introduced me to her friends, told me she was glad they approved, and we were on our way to being a couple. Like you, she needed time, and I was willing to go at the pace she wanted.

    After 2 months. I asked her where she saw where we were going, and she answered that she kind of goes "back and forth but really good friends." At that point in time, I gave her a choice, and she told me "its not you, its me." (which of course is crap).

    I felt extremely led on, and so does he. Here you are, not ready for a relationship, yet you're leading him on, kissing him, and talking about things that made him feel special. He probably came to the point where he realized that the two of you weren't going anywhere and he was just a rebound, so to speak.

    He is in the wrong, that instead of talking about it, he cowardly just started to ignore you which is wrong. He should have been honest with you.

    And fyi, those of us guys who feel led on, such as he does, we don't like being "just friends" after being teased.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Agreed. Guys and girls do this and either way it's effed up. Don't do everything that implies relationship and then turn around and say it isn't. You're leading someone on and basically wanting your cake and to eat it too. People like you shouldn't be dating until you get your crap together.

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    • Its most likely this is the case with your situation. This is pretty much universal amongst guys, especially those who want relationships. As I said, I wouldn't expect him to want to be friends. Think of it like this: First off, he's hurt because of the time he spent with you was pretty much wasted, and also, why would he, as your friend, want to sit and idle by while you (eventually some time down the road) find another boyfriend, leaving him wondering why he wasn't good enough

    • To continue, I would take this as a learning experience. Its simple, don't date or be flirty/affectionate toward someone if you're not ready for a relationship. I'd let this particular guy go, and if you're going to have hard feelings toward him, remember, you only have a right to have those hard feelings because he wasn't honest with you, not because he doesn't wanna be friends. Good luck in the future.

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What Guys Said 11

  • A single guy who has feelings for a girl does NOT want to be her friend. He has ZERO interest in being her friend, and in fact, being her friend is a NEGATIVE, because every time he is around her, he would be constantly reminded of what he wants and cannot have. It's like knowing you're going to have to go 5 days without eating: would you want to have to sit in a restaurant the whole time, smelling food cooking and seeing plates of food being brought out to people all around you and watching them enjoying their meals, or would you rather stay far away from the restaurant and put it completely out of your mind?

    If a guy has feelings for you, your choice is: enter into a relationship with him, or let him go, knowing that there's a good chance he's going to end your association forever.

    And IMO, good for him. There's nothing worse than being strung along by a girl (or a girl by a guy) who is saying "not right now, maybe later." Because everyone knows if that person was really into you, they will always "be ready" NOW.

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  • If he can't wait a while then let him go? If he's really into you he will keep trying and not just give up that easily, sounds like he wasn't that into you. If I was really into a girl I would keep trying unless she made it clear we will never go out or gave signs or hinted etc.

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  • Sounds like he got tired of waiting. He asked you to be his girlfriend, but you needed time. He probably wanted to move on because it seemed as if you were either stringing him along or you weren't interested enough to be his girlfriend. And the reason why it's going to be so hard for you to be friends is because he wants you to be his girlfriend. A guy who is romantically interested in a girl has zero interest in being just a friend.

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  • I reckon he is trying to distance himself from you so that you realize you want him, the whole distance makes the heart grow fonder thing.

    Or maybe he has met someone else seeming as you didn't seem interested.

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  • Probably his buddies told him that obviously you friend-zoned him and that if he wants a girlfriend he should not spend another minute on you. Or something to that effect.

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  • I would advise you to sent him a message, saying what you have on your mind, that you are no longer thinking about an ex, and would like to hang out with him, and at best not being just friends. I was in the same position as the guy you are talking about, I simply lost hope of trying to get her, and being a friend to her, when I brought up the topic of being in a relationship with her, she found some kind of an excuse. We were chatting for like 6 months, and it totally blew my mind, I am a tenacious, patient person when it comes to what I want but 6-8 months was too much for me. Now I am in the position when the girl I am chatting with stopped responding just out of the blue, thus kind of in the same boat as you are, but with no baggage like an ex.

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  • I have it mastered down to if a girl does not have sex after 7 hours of hanging out (doesn't matter if its spread throughout the week) she will be a complete waste of time. 60 women and counting.

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  • For men, you're a waste of time. No sex=wasted time

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  • Sounds like he pulled a d*** move and is avoiding you. Maybe it's time to move on.

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  • It seems that he gave up since he can't wait that long for you.

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  • Here's the thing - he wanted more, and you knew it, but you decided to string him along while pining for you ex. You assumed that because he wanted you today, he would always want you. And that it was some how fair of you to keep him hanging around while you carried on pining for your ex.

    Well guess what? It turns out he had more respect for himself than that. You want to pine for your ex boyfriend? Do it on your own time. The new guy has a life to lead, and you're not stringing him along any more.

    Guys don't want to be "just" friends with girls they fancy. We don't go in for pining and unnecessary heart ache. You're not interested? Then we're not interested.

    See ya!

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    • but I broke up with my ex boyfriend, just I still had some feelings for him and I wanted to forget it completely before starting something new.. because I thought it's not fair, but now I am completely sure I get over my ex and could start something new with that boy he just doesn't contact me anymore.. don't know if I can do something?

    • The world doesn't operate according to your schedule.

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