We had a "thing"& now his current girlfriend is pregnant- how to deal?

A long-time friend of mine and I sort of had a thing together about a year ago. We were never officially together, but we spent at least one night a week hanging out together alone, spent every weekend together, talked most days, and fooled around a lot. We never slept together because I don't have sex outside of relationships and neither of us was sure we could make a relationship work. We didn't see anyone else during this time though. Eventually, he sort of pulled back from it, we stopped hanging out together alone so much and he started seeing other girls. It took some adjusting for me, but mostly I was OK with it, I started seeing other guys and we went back to being friends like we were before.

Then he started dating his current girlfriend and they accidentally got pregnant. I was shocked at first, but he's my friend and I care about him so I let him know I was there for him, happy if he was happy and I'll love the kid because it'll be his. But he's stopped talking to me almost entirely since then. If we talk, it's because I text him a few times in a couple weeks and he finally responds to the last one. I go weeks without seeing him, and when I do it's only because we're both out with mutual friends. He barely speaks even then and I've only met his girlfriend like twice- which is weird since I got to know most of the other girls he dated pretty well.

It sucks- I miss him as a friend, I want to go back to things the way they were when we talked and hung out, were ACTUALLY friends. But I don't know how to tell him that without sounding jealous or like I want something more than just friendship. And I kind of want to know why he's shutting me out of his life...

How can I tell him that in a way that doesn't sound jealous?

Also, any thoughts on why he might have pulled away?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Just go talk to him, also include his current girlfriend in the scene.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It could be his new girlfriend knows how close you two were and is causing him to be this way. Or he doesn't want to jeopardize seeing his child so he is doing it on his own. But I have learned that in my life 9 times out of 10 a guy probably doesn't even realize he is doing it.

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