I'm not sure what to do...

I'm going to try to keep the story as short as possible but It's a lot so bare with me. My high school sweetheart and I had our first baby at 18. We ended up.breaking up mainly because I went off to school. No hard feelings etc. We stayed friends. Well while I was in school she got a new boyfriend (as I expected, I didn't want her having her life on hold). They had a daughter together but he turned out to be a jerk and would abuse her.she dealt with this for three years (idk she was being abused). Well she finally gathers the courage to leave him. A week or two later she and I had sex. Wasn't planned. Just happened after we discussed kinda our lives and how we never stopped loving each other blah blah...well late March we find out she's pregnant and she isn't sure who's it is. She doesn't want to force me to raise two children that aren't mine. She just doesn't feel right about it. Says she would rather be single than put that on me. Now, I still love her (and It's obvious she still loves me when were together), I still wanna be with her but now she's starting to act weird. I don't know if It's the pregnancy or me. Lately She's started to talk to me less. All day every day conversations have gone to every 12 hours or so for about 30 minutes if that. Kinda has me worried Because I know the other guy is trying to get back with her and he's closer to her than I am (I live about two hours away). Normally I wouldn't sweat it, but we were discussing moving together (I wanna be closer to my son anyways), marriage, the whole nine yards as recently as two weeks ago, but now I'm lucky if I reach her at all. I guess I just need some advice on what I should do. Or at least a push in the right direction lol


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  • Do you mind raising two children that aren't yours? I know after about 9months you can do dna tests so you could at least find out if the child is yours.

    I think there are two things at play but the primary one is that she is actually conflicted about who she wants to be with and for all intents and purposes that is not something you want to get mixed up in. You want her to make a decision based on how you feel not on how you can convince/influence her to feel. She's pushing you away or at least keeping you at a distance because she is not set on how she feels and that's a dangerous thing to get involved in because it can leave you emotionally (sort of like you are now) unsatisfied and potentially hurt.

    I'd say if you can get a job near your son move to that area but not with the expectations that you and your son's mother will be together... If you can't get a job near your son I would just suggest staying where you are and doing everything you can to be involved in your son's life... I really would really try to not expect anything of the mother though. She's got a lot going on that she needs to sort out internally. Maybe try to be there for her if she needs advice or whatever but try to keep your emotions on the side as it could leave you in a position to get hurt

    But that is just my opinion... Good luck!

    • Much appreciated...I really don't mind raising two kids that aren't mine as long as they understand I'm not their father but I will treat them as my own...our plan is to have a DNA test once born...

      I'm not sure if she's conflicted or not. She says she doesn't want him at all and that she's starting to hate him because he is constantly trying to be with her and using their daughter as a weapon. But for all I know.

    • And I think I will move with no intentions on her and I being together. Although being there for her ironically is what led to this predicament lol.

  • She's pushing herself to her limits. You should be there for her though if you think the other guy can do it, then so be it.


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