I'm trying to be a good trusting girlfriend but it so hard, or should I be worried?

So I don't want to be the bitchy girlfriend that always has to know his where abouts, never lets him hang with his friends, or he can't hang with his friends unless I'm with him. I know these are key things that well mess up a good relationship. I'm trying to control my trust issues but I'm going out of my head! He tells me he is going to new jersey with his boys to a club to atlantic city to do like a free style battle. I'm not going he isn't taking me and I'm really trying to keep it together cause I feel like he is going to do something behind my back. Then yesterday one of his boys called him asking him did he leave his hoodie in his car and I was like well when did you hang out with him? and he was like a couple nights ago..i was like who else was in the car he said just his boy but his jacket was in the back so who was sitting in the front unless he threw it back there...but he said to me that they just walked back to his house to smoke. And I don't want to requestion him on it but I'm freaking out! Did he have a girl in the car or maybe he is just telling the truth. And I also feel like I don't have as much control cause I don't have my car right now so I feel like he has all the control I feel like I can't keep tabs as easily. And not just that we went on a fishing trip and at first he was just going to go with his boys. He told me that it was there idea then he tells me he wants me to go so I do. And he slips and says it was his idea? I don't know why he lied to me the first time around his x used to hate when he hung with his friends, and used to track him on google and hunt him down and if she saw him in a car with someone she would pull over and knock on the window. I don't do that maybe he thought Id freak out. but still he lied! And sometimse I questions his love not from anything that he does just sometimes when I tell him I love him...he says do you? he doesn't say I love you back. I mean he tells me he loves me sometimes through text or over the phone he has said it on his own to my face..but if you say do you? every time does that mean he doesn't love me? or not as much ? I told him babe if you don't want me to say it I won't and he said no its OK. I need advice going out of my mind.
Also another thing is sometimes at night when we are home and we don't live together, I ll call him and he ll be like I'm going to the boyfriend I ll call you back then I ll wait and wait. Then I will call him and he will be like I'm eating I will call you in 15 min. Then he will text me instead and then way I say call me he will text miss you like why these games..and this is not all the time. But it makes me feel like I can't trust him. And maybe I'm just bugging out.
And he never kisses me I always kiss him and its like a flat kiss, he always wants me to rub his head and massage but he never returns the favor. I'm worried about that to.
above correction I'm going to the bathroom not boyfriend lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • tl;dr

    It's okay to worry and it's good you can see when you're crossing the line. Put yourself in his shoes; would you like it if your partner texted you all the time wondering where you are? How would you view your partner if he always did that? What I do is if I really want to text my boyfriend but I feel like a nuisance, I type the text out and then just shut off my phone. I texted it out and got it out of me, but he will never see it. You'll be surprised at how it can help.

    However, if you're constantly worrying about him cheating, you're putting your relationship at stake and you're hardly enjoying your time together if you're always anxious. If he cheats, he cheats. Worrying about it all the time will not prevent it, if anything, it'd probably push him away and make him do it. You need to talk to him about how you feel and explain yourself. Then maybe you two could work out ways in which you could worry less and he'll still be happy. One way to do this could be when he's out, he can text you regularly about what's going on.

    If you've been going out for like less than a month then you can't really expect him to say he loves you back. If you've been together for like 5 months or around that, then you should ask him why he doesn't say it back. That's a worrying sign. Boyfriends should say it back and just randomly say that they love you before you do. Maybe you're not trusting him because you're sensing he doesn't love you back. Your relationship doesn't sound healthy to me tbh.

    • well we are happy cause I'm not showing to him all that I'm saying. But the whole I love you thing worries me to. And when I'm out he always asks me where I'm at. And when I go home he sometimes ask me did I go out last night. And I tell him no but he gives me this worry look we are really a like so I know how he feels. But I think I'm going stop saying I love you and when and if he says it I'm going to say Do you instead.

    • Show All
    • I don't think you should invite him to move in with you. It looks like he's using you and taking you for granted; by accepting massages but not returning the favour when you ask and just not answering you. My boyfriend stays up until 1am texting me even if he has to get up at 6am just because he wants to talk to me. I think that shows love and dedication to me and the relationship. Your guy doesn't seem to be doing anything for you. I think you can find someone better tbh.

    • yea you might be right thanks

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