My ex is losing his way

My ex and I didn't date for very long, but it was an intense relationship. I fell in love with him, and I broke it off because I found out he was running drug errands for his friends to make money while he was going to school at UCLA. We broke up almost 2 months ago

We had met online and his profile was relaxed- his screenname was a reference to a Bob Marley song, it said he was looking to date but nothing serious and his headlines were mostly song lyrics.

Now, he is back online (as am I). His screenname is now "driven by anger" his looking for is "not seeking a relationship or commitment of any kind" and his headline is "living the trife life" (trife meaning life of poverty and crime). The song that references is quite violent and scary.

I don't hate him and I don't really have anger towards him. I do care about him, and I hate to think of him doing this to himself and messing things up for himself. I've had two dreams in the last month or so where h is sad and asking for help- so obviously it comes across my mind.

I don't want him back at all, but on a personal level I am concerned for him. I don't want him to be angry or sad. I really only want the best for him.

I guess I just want some advice on this.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, if he had the ability to make you fall in love with him, then he is a good man.

    I think you have heard one of these phrases "There are good men in this world, its just that some of us doing end up doing well".

    Just leave him be, you will most likely cause more harm than good. I was in your ex's place once, except I was probably dealing more hardcore drugs. Like shipping and receive steroid packages, receiving gun parts-assembling it and shipping it, baking cocaine, ect.. I was doing SOOO well, until my ex called the HR rehab; which in turn called the police and then I served my time..

    But its your pick really, sometimes our right intentions can cause the wrong actions.

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    • Thank you for such a clear answer and I like that you spoke with experience.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It kind of depends on what drugs they are. If it's marijuana and mushrooms or something, then you're an uptight bitch. If it's heroin and methamphetamine, then that's a serious issue

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    • It was weed and shrooms, but he also lives in Compton. He even admitted that the people he was runnin with we're sketchy.

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    • Im really not considering getting back together with him. Not okay with it at all.

      The thing is though, he did get caught with it on him, and not just a little- enough to sell. As he put it, he got caught with a "sizeable" amount of weed and shrooms. Again, doing it, not that big of a deal. One can do that in the privacy of their own home and mind their own business.

      Dealing and running the risk of getting caught is not something I want to handle.

    • I am looking at it from a point of the long term. Do I want to be concerned about him going to jail all the time? Do I want to worry about his safety or my safety? Anything could happen to anyone but that world runs you a greater risk or going to jail, getting hurt, etc. I don't want to be there to watch him possibly go to jail or screw up his chances of getting a job after he graduates.

  • Let him be

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What Girls Said 5

  • I know how you feel with this.

    Unfortunately.. you have to let him make the mistakes otherwise he will never learn. If you step in, he may see it as interfering, when you're just trying to help. We all have our choices, it sounds like this is one he needs to make... it's up to you whether you want to keep an eye, or turn a blind eye and not know what's happening to him :/

    It's crap choice sadly, I'm sorry :/ Good luck

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  • Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot you can do. You can tell him you don't want to get back together but care about him and are there if he needs to talk, but if you do that, you also run the risk of giving him the wrong impression (you want him back) or getting dragged into a bad situation that you aren't actually prepared to be a part of. It shows you are a caring person that you are worried about him, but ultimately people make their own decisions and if he's intent on being angry and/or running his life into the ground, no one is going to be able to change his mind for him.

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  • unfortunately you can't help him,he has to make that choice.It hurts to see the ones we love go downhill but what can we do to stop them,if losing you wasn't enough what will be.

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  • If you mean anything to him you can ask him to get help , but if he doesn't care about you I don't see a reason oh why he'd listen to you.So if you still wanna help take help from mutual friends

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  • Let the man be, your'e exs for a reason. Obviously, you grew apart. Just stop following him online, I don't even follow my exs. Go your opposite ways, and if it is meant for you to care or you are meant to be etc. he will come back around.

    Let it go, if it comes back it is yours, if it does not it never was

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