Keeping your exs clothes

I've been with my new partner about 4 months, he broke up with his ex over a year ago. After we'd been together about 2 months I mentioned to him I found it odd that his exs stuff was all over his flat (straighteners on the bedroom floor, beauty products in the bathroom, clothes on a shelf). I was dragging a backpack over every weekend and during the week and if I left so much as a hairband on the bedroom floor he'd put it by the door so I didn't forget it. He said he hadn't realize just how much of her stuff was there, but nothing changed and the stuff stayed there.

After another month I said it made me wonder if he was waiting for her to come back and asked him outright if he had feelings for her. I'm not really jealous of her but I also don't want to invest time being with someone who is still in love with an ex and I asked him how would he feel if I had a guys dumbells on my bedroom floor, boxers on my shelf and shaving gel in my bathroom (like he lived there and was out at the shops), he said he was over her and that he really should clear it out (and he did clear a few bits out). Don't get me wrong I have no issue with him keeping stuff from their time together, I don't even mind him still being in touch with her, but it's in my fact I am literally tripping over her stuff all the time (including her coffee mug in the kitchen cupboard - front and centre). I feel there is no room for me in his life and I'm visiting him and his exs flat when there.

Another month on and yesterday I found her stockings in the hall (the cat was sleeping on them in a small cupboard). And I feel like maybe it's time to cut and run. Again I decided to be up front and ask him about it (I don't believe in just going silent and expecting him to know why I am upset) and he just said he'd forgotten they were there. He said I am important to him and it's me he wants to be with.

I am feeling like there are just too many people in this relationship and wondering if I should end it before I get hurt.

Any views would be great please...

Updates:
Sorry I should say this is for ladies or the guys.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Short answer: dump him.

    If he has so little regard for you that he refuses (yes, it is a choice) to leave her possesions lying about his apartment, ... I can't believe that someone is so unfeeling.

    Ted

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  • You should dump him. It seems that he's seeing his ex behind your back.

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