Why does my boyfriend care more about drinking then his family?

my boyfriend likes a drink yes. but he always takes it to far. he gos out doesn't say where and I don't see him for days. drink and drugs and his main priorty and its starting to really do my head in. iv said to him I can't go on like this anymore, and he said that he knew and went to the doctors for help. but it didn't work he still carried on parting all weekend. last weekend I had enough and wrote hin a letter saying that what he's doing is stressing our relationship out and if this carries on that I don't think we can be together anymoie iv been unwell and the doctor said its stress. I wouldn't mind at all, but he will say in going to the gym and I will be back at x oclock then I'm sat here waiting till the next day to hear from him. also we have kids together and I feel like I do it all myself..
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any advice please

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  • It sounds like he's an alcoholic. He's addicted and there is nothing you can do for him. He'll change if / when he's ready. Odds are against him changing though.

    I realize you've been with him a long time and have kids. That has to be taken into consideration. But I'm still tempted to say you should leave him. I went through it with my ex - don't waste years of your life waiting for something that will probably never happen. Get out and find someone else while you are still young. I wish I had done that.

    You can give him an ultimatum that he either quits or you and the kids are gone. You can't make empty threats though. You have to be prepared to go through with it, even to the point of making solid plans. Are you financially able to take care of you and the kids if you leave?

    He needs to know that it's very serious. He's old enough that it's not just typical youthful partying. He has a family to look out for and he's dropping the ball. The alcohol and drugs are stronger than his will power. Don't let his drinking and drugs pull you and the children down, you deserve better than that. Give your kids an alcohol free and drug free environment to grow up in.

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    • i have told him now that if he doesn't get the right help we are done. I told him he has to movd out to. if he isn't here I'm not worrying about him or the problem.

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What Guys Said 4

  • How long have you known this guy? Surely there must have been signs and red flags that he was going to end up as a major problem in your life. Certainly, not the best role model for your children.

    If talking things out with him does not work out, you need to find help immediately. The morality of your children will be depending on you, since you're the only one with common sense.

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    • we have been together for 12 years. he has always liked a drink but its just to much now. we got together at 15 and 16, and I thought he would grow up. iv been waiting for 4 years.

    • I take it you had faith that he would change his ways as time goes by. I can understand that. Love makes us take crazy risks... it's unfortunate that yours turned for the worst. I can only sympathize.

      There's nothing much you can do with your boyfriend other than breaking up or try your hardest to reason with him about how serious the situation is. If he does not improve, he is not worth your life or the life of your children.

  • You just need to get away from him.

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  • Bad childhood experience probably.

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  • It's hard to break people's habit. Take it slowly. Don't let him go to parties on weekends.

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