So I have this theory that your status in high school determines your dating life in adulthood?

I can't make generalizations but just based on my own high school, the girls who were the most popular, are the girls with the "hottest" guys in long term relationships, the guys that were popular, are the ones with hot girlfriends as well, and the dorks that were single through out high school, are stull single.

In fact I was checking a friend of mine, who I see sometimes in real life, Facebook just as one example, and I realize, man this guy is really good looking, he is even better looking than Adrian Brody, he even has a talk show on a radio station.

Yet though out high school he was always lonely, he is tall, slim, handsome, dress good, he is not gay, yet he had never has a girlfriend.

Another friend, a different guy, he is even ripped now, he goes out constantly to see if he can meet someone, he has his sh*t together since he is a professional and always is planning hang outs with friends, he takes care of expensive hang outs sometimes just to keep the opportunities rolling, yet, he still can't get anyone. Why because he never could, back in high school he was lonely as well.

So I was thinking, if these guys who happen to be successful, have good looks, have money, have their sh*t together, can't get girls, it probably goes back to how they felt since high school, I bet they probably felt like losers, they were always nice outside, but sad and lonely inside, and this just brings them bad luck in the dating scene.

I don't think it has to do with family, these guys have real good families.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you could be underestimating these guys. Sure they may be single now, but that could be by choice. People who often have a hard time growing up, are often the ones who develop great characters and have standards. I wouldn't be surprised at all if these guys are picky because they have a lot to offer (and to be honest I think that's their right.).

    Your friend the radio host would have a lot of girls throwing themselves at him because he 1)Handsome, 2)Semi famous and 3) has a great career.

    With your other friend, if he's going out a often as you say, is generous and looks smokin', then I'd say he's not single because he can't get anyone (Plenty of gold diggers would be chasing after him) but because he hasn't found the right person. I wouldn't be surprised if he hooks up with a lot of girls but leaves them as one night stands.

    I think the case with your friends is that after what they went through in High School, they most likely know that there are important aspects of character in people that shouldn't be overlooked when considering a partner (E.g. is she nasty, conceited, etc).

    The next time you are out with these guys, take a look at the woman around the place and see how they're behaving. I think you'll find there'll be a lot of attraction.

    The reason I have this point of view is because when I was in High School, I was in the unpopular group and I didn't date for a variety of reasons. I'm still not dating now (5 years since I left) but that's not because of lack of suitors (which might I add some have been very hot) but because I know that there are more important things than just being with a partner to avoid being alone which I realized in High School.

    Also with regard to the 'Hot' people being in relationships, that doesn't mean they're happy. People often stay together because they're terrified of being alone. For example, my brother has been with his girlfriend for ten years and he really does hate her (He's said to me multiple times when they haven't been fighting), but he stays with her out of fear of being alone.

    Whoa, I didn't expect this to turn into an essay.

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    • well I know them, but I like what you said, and even though I know this is not the case, it is my hope that it turns that way in the near future.

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What Girls Said 11

  • EH, I don't know about all that. I was a surly outcast in high school, and while I am still on the surly side, I'm not an outcast by any means. I'm not very social, but that is by design and not assignation. Of course, I have always thought extremely highly of myself- even when the majority of the people I was surrounded with disagreed rather vehemently. In fact, I have dated (and dumped) some of the formerly popular guys from high school- guys that would never have deigned to be seen with me then. I don't know if their standards got "lowered" or if they changed- I am pretty sure I haven't. (My friends, many of whom I actually have had since high school, say I haven't changed much other than the normal maturing one would expect- my personality is much the same, according to them.) And I would like to add here that I did not break things off with those guys out of some desire for revenge or whatever for not liking me in high school. I did it because, bless their hearts, they didn't do much for me. Meaning they didn't, you know, strike me. Easy come, easy go- I'm not up to my eyeballs in lovely mens, but I can go out when I want with pretty much who I want. So if that's a measure of success (for me, it's really kind of not) then I has it despite my humble origins.

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    • I guess with girls is a whole different league

  • not true at all in my case. I was painfully shy and awkward around boys like, couldn't make eye contact and could never smile or approach. I'm still shy but I've dated famous young actors and musicians who were all attractive at least by national standards if not international. we couldn't even walk together on the street or leave the restaurant at the same time because of papparazzi.

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  • For me it's true. I was always singled out in high school and it hasn't changed in college. The only difference is that I feel more comfortable talking to people, but I'm as unpopular as ever, even though I'm in engineering. Lack of communication skills and confidence is hard to catch up on.

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  • I don't believe that. I've been bullied my whole grade school and high school. I've never been ugly. I consider myself to be fairly attractive. I'm a blue-eyed blond. I didn't get a boyfriend until I was 19 years old because I wasn't into going to parties to meet guys. And younger guys only want to fool around anyways, so I wasn't gonna get my heart broken by jerks for nothing. I've been with that same guy for 1,5 years, which I consider long-term, and I don't think my boyfriend is considered unattractive. He's 6'1", blond hair and green eyes and I'm his first girlfriend too. I think it has more to do with what your priorities are at a certain age and what you're looking for as far as commitment goes. Some people don't date until they're serious about it. It has certainly been my case and I think it's been the same way with my guy. Why date when you're too young to care and too young to treat someone properly?

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    • Well most of the people in my case study are around 25, the popular girls are no longer hot, yet they are long term dating what it is believe to be hot guys. Guys that were popular landed a hottite in college and live happy with them, these girls are loyal to them. Unpopular girls are mixed between having multiple partners, if they were hot, dating long term ugly guys, if they were decent, and being single, if they were ugly. Unpopular guys are all single or with long term ugly girlfriends

    • As I said. Neither of us are ugly, although unpopular in HS. I think it doesn't quite hold up.

    • for the most part is does, it is ridiculous how people expect absolutes

  • I don't know. I was the quiet nerdy girl who was in the Marching band and who no one knew existed unless they needed help on an English or history project. I also maintained a relationship with a "hot popular jock" as you refer to them, from another school, for all four years of school. But at my school, I was invisible and so unpopular that only the janitor knew my name :p It did not affect my dating life. I'm still with that guy from high school whereas the "popular" ones all broke up with their SO's for college and are as single as the day they were born.

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    • yeah I've seen some of the non popular girls dating, I think it affects more guys than girls, since girls always have more options

  • I never really dated in high school but now I am with a sexy mofo! My boyfriend is so awesome in everyway! so not always true haha

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  • It applies to me I was beautiful, still is but I am still shy and reserved

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  • That's true to some extent, but tbh you control your own destiny and life not high school dynamics.

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  • I almost hate to admit it, but I think you may be onto something. I never dated in high school. No one asked me out and I felt like a loser about it. I saw people who were (more) unattractive than myself get into relationship and end up happy. A lot of the people who were dating happily in high school are STILL with the people they were dating. I graduated in 2011, so it's not like it's been forever, but since we're young, I think it's a long time. I've had one boyfriend since I graduated and I hardly claim that. He was the epitome of unattractive and I'm ashamed to have ever even spoken to him, but I was lonely and he gave me attention (plus he has a valuable skill I needed). I got tired of hiding him, so I dumped him and I don't regret it.

    Your theory, though I can't string a connection other than the fact that others remember their status, is interesting. If where you live is anything like where I live, people end up knowing everyone even though it's not exactly a small town. If they were losers, they're known as losers. If they're hot, they're just hot and it's known.

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    • you dumb him for being physically ugly? you deserve loneliness

    • If you say so. People have their preferences. You can't tell me you'd like being in a relationship with someone you couldn't find attractive and didn't love at all. Stop being so judgmental.

    • physical appearance as a reason for love, you are low

  • So your theory is that dating prospects are defined by how popular one is?

    Maybe you should expand on what being popular means to you and what contributes to it.

    This being said I honestly don't agree with such a generalization. I've seen popular people being single and shy, nerdy girls or guys get girlfriends and boyfriends.

    Also your idea that popular guys get hot girls and popular girls get hot guys hasn't been my experience either. I've seen very hot guys committed to less than average girls and hot girls dating your guy next door.

    Sure having social skills is always helpful in relating to people and thus getting in a relationship, and it's also very helpful to be popular. But you don't need to be the life of the party to get a girlfriend or boyfriend. If that were the case then introverts would be all single and alone which isn't the case.

    So I would say that yes, if you're socially awkward and don't know how to relate to people, are painfully shy and seldom leave your room or engage a discussion with someone, then you have less chances of meting someone and getting into a relationship.

    Oh and yes, if those guys you mentioned feel sad and depressed over themselves then this diminishes their attraction factor. Confident sociable, and nice people are the most attractive. They're not necessarily popular and known by all (because they don't necessarily bring attention to themselves)

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    • Well if you read my comments that's not what I'm saying, the hot girls in high school are no longer hot, in fact many turned ugly, yet they live as if they were still hot.

  • People who are popular are that way because they excelled in social skills early on and learned how to be attractive to others (physically and persona-wise)

    Unpopular people never developed this and if they don't learn it after high school then they will continue on the negative cycle of being unpopular and not attracting people

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    • yeah how can that be learned really, is hard to know, I bet these guys have tried reading on the subject, I don't think there is a solution, what determines being attractive anyway, I mean everyone likes something different, why can't they be liked by someone as well

    • some people were unpopular because they were shy. it doesn't necessarily mean that they were not considered attractive by others, maybe they just didn't accept date offers or avoided peopld who tried to approach them. shy people can make good lovers. people start to realize that more after hs.

    • it haven't happened to then, no one single attractive girl, not even ugly ones have date them

What Guys Said 5

  • ugly duckling syndrome you mean?

    yeah. if you have a low self esteem as a child , no matter how much you improve and no matter how good you are, it's hard to shake off as an adult

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  • When you're in high school, the girls are shallow and only want the good looking guys.

    When girls grow up, they only want the *cool guys*. Good looks and money are a bonus, but absolution in one self is more important. These *cool guys* generally don't care what people think, they do what they want, and are proud of it. If you are a guy and you kiss everyone's ass, you just look weak, which lowers your value. Never placate, never apologize. It makes you look weak.

    Learn the phrase " Stick to your guns"

    I exclude gold diggers from this btw.

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  • yea felt like a loser and its crippling now.

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  • yep and Status does not affect girls

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  • That seems to be true because people cannot change their selves over time, and it takes a long time. I really agree with you.

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