Why would you date/get back together with an ex?

I guess it varies from person to person and relationship to relationship but what are some reasons for getting back with an ex? Does it depend on the person themselves or the nature of the relationship? What matters more, how good that person makes you feel or how much pain/history exists between you two? I have an ex I care very much about and would like to date again, but she is hesitant and I'm just trying to understand both sides of the spectrum. So I guess my question should really be, what are some reasons for getting back with an ex, and what are some reasons for not getting back with an ex?


Most Helpful Girl

  • For me it was like that - we broke up and avoid each other for month or 2 and then he or me would call the other to get a coffee and be friendly. Then with time we discovered that the fact that it didn't work out didn't change our friendship and good conversations. So then he or me get confused and flirt and think that there could be more to this. We get back together, we're dysfunctional as a couple and break up...That was the whole cycle...

    This experience showed me no matter how much you both try if you're not meant for each other it wouldn't work. Also once the glass is broken you can put glue, sticky tape and whatever but you can still see it's broken. I think people often get confused about the past with their ex, the good times and the special bond they got, it could be cause it's familiar or cause it's easy. It could be for the sake of sex, it could be many things. It was all of the above for me each any of the 6 times we got back together. But it was all confusion. Turned out we got some chemistry and friendship but there never was any love. He thought he loved me cause he's afraid of changes and moving on which I realized after a long time. And I had feelings but it wasn't as strong as love and was often confused with the fact that when we don't date we're so happy and good together and that if we date again it would be amazing. But you know it's different to date and to be friends with someone...I don't say this applies to everyone, it does to me, and it's a waste of time (to me) to try fix something broken. What I'm sure of is that in most cases everyone gets confused by their feelings for their ex and it's not always cause of real love but mostly cause of attachment and not letting go...

    • Thanks for BA!

    • What about if you truly believe you're meant for each other? I know she's my first and its very, very, very naive of me to think I've found the person I'm supposed to end up with on my first try, but idk, that old cliche the heart knows best seems to ring true in my case. I still love her deeply and its hard for me to think of as anything other than that. We're trying to remain friends, but there's a lot of sexual tension on both sides lately. I want her back and she knows it but I don't know bout her

    • Oh, I don't say it's a mistake to get back together with an ex. It's most cases stuff and besides my case was way different then yours. You can try get back together and see for yourself if it would work. Worst case scenario you'll reach my conclusion and maintain friends, best case scenario - she's the one! So even if it's mistake it's one you have to make to be sure. Even if your heart breaks it's worth to know since you really feel that way about her now. You should definitely try.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I respect myself enough not to get back with any of my exes as I think once we both decide to end it then that means we don't see the future of us being together so it's not worth getting back with that person ever again and if I do,it only hurts me and cuts my wound wide open!


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