What's more painful after a break up (assuming the break was as mutual as a breakup can get)?

I've just recently been able to say I experienced both and wanted to know what you guys think.

Which choice will make you personally feel more pain concerning the breakup and loosing an EX you loved?
  • EX cannot keep in touch with you because he/she hurts too much to be casually friendly
    Vote A
  • EX who casually keeps in contact in a friendly manner as if you guys are just friends after the break
    Vote B
  • See answer
    Vote C
  • I've never experienced a breakup
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
I'm really surprised with the result! I strongly feel that choice (B) would hurt wayyy more because if someone could really casually keep in contact as just friend after dating, they probably never cared that much!


You see, their feelings probably never ran deep enough to really distinguish between 'dating/relationship' vs 'just friends'


For those who chose (A) please explain why...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've never really experienced a friendship after a relationship but it's usually the best option. My ex offered to be friends like a month ago actually (we broke up like 7 months ago) and I questioned it and didn't really give an answer. If we were friends then we would probably have to talk to regularly which would not go down well with my mum or boyfriend. Then it opens the door for him to flirt or start to control me again, slowly trying to seep in emotionally and detach me from my boyfriend and then get me around his little finger again. My ex was abusive, psycho, controlling, manipulative, lying etc so that is something he would try to do as I believe he still loves me. So I think talking to him could potentially be damaging as well as not talking because I think we all know how painful it is when you're always looking at your phone hoping for a message that will never come. It's pretty painful. But I see how painful it can be talking to an ex like nothing ever happened but you would only feel that pain if you still loved them so this pain would not affect you if you had moved on.

    I think they're both equally painful depending on varying situations tbh.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • A breakup is only painful if you still have feelings for that person, and the hardest part is knowing that they no longer do and will be giving those emotions to someone else and not you. You miss them deerly and struggle for ages to accept that your never see them again, or that's how you feel anyway,x

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  • usually girls I know would more or less end contact completely and just disappear unless they like live within the same town than I'd have to see them a bit when I'm out on weekends but even then most wouldn't say much

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  • it's more painful in the short term to be cut out of someone's life completely, but in the long term if contact makes the process of moving on difficult, it may be the better option

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  • it would be she didn't tell me till I found out a week later on fb

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  • It would be when my ex stops talking to me altogether.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Quitting cold turkey hurts the most, but at least it allows me to heal the quickest. Having to talk to the guy would certainly ease my pain because at least I know he isn't ready to live on without me completely, but it slows down my detaching from him. So I'd rather cut it off completely and piece myself back together.

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  • THE PAIN

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  • My ex stopped talking to me and I found out later on that he's been getting back with his ex. :(

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