My ex is moving on too fast for his own good. What happened?

I was in a very serious relationship for a year and half. We had an unusual situation in the sense that we're from opposite sides of the world with no mutual friends and started sharing a hotel room after knowing each other for 2 months, we lived in the same room for about 9 months. Our relationship then went long distance for a few months, though when I moved to his city (and not for him) we mutually ended things so we could focus on ourselves. However, he was and still is the only person I know here so we would hang out, 3 months passed of us not being together but being heart broken friends. He and I were very much still in love. He completely poured his heart out to me saying he will always be in love with me, he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now with anyone but he hasn't stopped loving me and won't. Then a few days later I was blocked out of his life. Deleted on fb, instagram, twitter. I gave him 5 or so days of no contact but eventually had to reach out to him because I have been on the verge of depression. I said I need to see him, a friend, just to tell me I will be okay and to give me hope. He ignored me for the first time, ever. The following day he asked if I was okay and I said I need to see a friend, then he told me he met someone that week (5 days ago) and is dating them.

So, it's been a week. They are Facebook official 'in a relationship' he's using names like beautiful and darling and posting photos and such.

What is absolutely mind blowing is that the whole time I've known him he has been so passionately against promoting publicly who he is dating. He posted maybe 2 photos of us, and not looking like we were together, over the time we dated, he never tagged me or mentioned me or referenced me or anything on social media because he wanted to keep me in his private life. He never used those silly love hearts of blowing kisses smiley faces or anything. . He didn't want any of his friends to know me, he was protective because of an ex who cheated on him with his friends. He said he didn't deny our relationship if someone asked. I respected that, however there is a fine line between privacy and being hidden.

Talk about extremes. It took 5 days, and his new girlfriends name and photo of them being 'close' is public (and actually public, I can see it and I'm blocked) his relationship status was official after 5 days. Photos of them holding hands! This is beyond anything he shared when he was with me, he referred to her as his beautiful girl in a status. This is extreme for him. He is not being himself, just last week he was in love with me. I can't help but see this as a rebound but he said he has chemistry with her, and clearly likes her enough to promote it to the extreme. I know he's going through a hard time with work, family, living, and me obviously, but it's so bizarre to see how he is acting with her. He's either not being honest with her, doing anything to impress her, he's not being true to himself. I'm confused


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe he feels that focusing his attention on someone new and cutting ties with you is the best way to move on. That would make sense, with him telling you he'll always love you and then bam, you're blocked on FB and other medias and he is effectively not having contact with you.

    As for the sudden change in how he's showing his relationship, maybe he just wants to try things different this time. Different people bring out different qualities in us, maybe she's got him feeling highly motivated, and loved, and motivated to show off that love. It is awfully quick, but I suppose ultimately that is not the point. The point is, it IS happening.

    He has chosen to go a different direction and it doesn't matter why or how, it only matters that that's what he wants. If you love him too, then you serve him best by letting go.

    • How ever he gets over it is how he wants to get over it, you seem so bothered that I think it's safe to say that you feel he's moving on to fast for YOUR own good.

    • I do agree with him trying to be different. Since we mutually decided to part ways he's been lost and emotional. Obviously as have I. He openly said he needs to block me out so he can take his mind off me, his feelings come back instantly if he ever sees me. Whatever their relationship really is, It's good that he is strong enough to focus on it. But I know that he isn't entirely happy with himself or his life, this new attention is what he needed as a distraction and to lift his spirits.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Move on babe, don't think of it as a rebound, it's official, it's real and he's no longer your buisness. I know you don't want to hear it but the truth is he's moved on and so should you.

    • I know I have to move on and I am getting there. But since I know how he feels about me, he told me how strongly he felt for me 3 days before this happened.

    • He's a lier and not an honest guy. Some guys just know what to say to girls to get them to tick, once he's got what he wants he will move on. You don't want to fall for a guy like that and certainly don't want to live with him for the rest of your life. Take this as a lesson and a blessing in disguise for you to find someone better that you deserve.

  • I'm assuming she's better looking... according to his changing Facebook behavior...

    • it's quite uncanny how similar we are in appearance. features, body size, hair color, eyes, a lot. We're both dancers too.

    • He deleted me and blocked me so he didn't have to see what I was up to because he just wanted to be spending time with me, he said he won't be able to see me anymore because his feelings and sexual attraction come back so strongly when he does.

  • It seems that you're just a rebound. You should really move on.

    • I'm not sure I was the rebound, we had a very intimate and full on relationship that was only difficult because of the extreme circumstance. We either lived together and saw each other 24/7 or were in long distance, not once did we have the chance to experience a time where we could do our own thing and be with each other as well. Once I moved to the city we agreed a break would be good to focus on ourselves, we didn't break-up because love was lost.

What Girls Said 2

  • If someone loves you they will see your faults and help you to better it, they wouldn't run out on you. which good mother/father you know abandoned their child/ children because they made mistakes? You deserve better, see it, believe it and do it.

  • Maybe it is a rebound maybe he met her while he was seeing you. Either way he moved on you should work on yourself and do the same don't get stuck in the past while he is moving on. Focus on you you have enough time to

    • he met her 7 days ago

    • It doesn't matter see him for the a**hole he is hate him instead of thinking back on all the things you did wrong in the relationship and the ways you should have done it and what you may say for him to take you back. he left you for another girl. use that to hate his ass and move on, he was not good enough for you thank heavens he is gone, move and celebrate your life. I am sure that pig is doing that he isn't sad and jealous. It is his loss you are a great person

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