Is this girl overreacting?

I use to date this girl months ago. We dated about a month. We had a falling out afterward for like a week because she gave the whole "let's just be friends" speech. I told her that I like her and I care about her a lot. We got back to talking again and got close since. We are friends and no longer dating. We have spent more time together, we have kissed on some occasions, been affectionate with one another, slept together in the same bed, etc. Things got hot and heavy recently where we ended up messing around. We had spoken about hanging out today before messing around. Now she tells me that she can't go tonight because something came up. She said this in a flat manner. Any idea why she is acting this way? It almost seems as if she is awkward about what happened and I'm not sure why. Help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • There could be multiple reasons for this:

    She REALLY just doesn't want to be more than friends.

    However, since she has let kissing happen, it is possible that she is very comfortable (intimately speaking) with your personality, but doesn't want to date because she is not Physically attracted to you. (However, I cannot judge you attractiveness and if you guys messed around that is unlikely.)

    Or the exact opposite, she is really attracted to you, but personality wise she doesn't see you as relationship material? And she doesn't want to lead you on. (My friend has this problem)

    Or maybe she is just embarrassed and doesn't want you to look at her as someone who is 'easy'.

    Even I don't understand all the complications that are girls, and I am one.

    • 1 detail I left out (not sure if this helps), we are mid 20s and she hasn't had a serious relationship in years (it badly...he cheated on her). All of those scenarios make sense...see now how my mind is confused? I gave her a 2 day 'buffer' to give her some space. Should I just not reply back to her and wait for her to initiate contact another time?

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • You should start contacting her again. It must be that she's just waiting for you to text her again.

  • It seems that she's really into you but she wants to take it slowly. She's not overreacting.

    • Like I said above, I gave her some space so she doesn't feel smothered. Considering she wants to keep taking things slowly, now what do I do? I'm stumped..

    • Is it likely she thinks it was a mistake? If that's the case, same what do I do?

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