Guys, how would you feel if your girl breaks up with you but stay good friends with your bff?

So guys, recently I broke up with a guy, I love him, but he started to behaves cold towards me, I was feeling really sad, and I started being close to one of his bff, which he introduced to me when I 1st go for a sleep over at his place. In total, I have met this bff of his twice, and lately when he started acting cold towards me, I was feeling sad and I started texting his bff a lot, normal casual talking (bear in mind his bff is way too young for me, so nothing like that, we're like bro and sis). So through the texting, we started talking about how he's behaving towards me and stuff, his bff managed to persuade him to meet me, but my boyfriend warned me not to text his bff anymore. I asked him why, he said because he said so. I ignored his order, I continue texting his bff and I told his bff not to tell him because I think he's jealous of his own bff. So after a while of texting, his bff could see I'm being so sad over him and he's acting like a total jerk, so his bff started to advice me to dump him. He told me to dump him for around 3-4 times and told me that he feels that my boyfriend probably wanted to break it off with me too, but not sure why he's not doing it yet. He said that if he behaves towards you like that it means he's not in love with you anymore. I asked if he has another girlfriend, his bff said no, nothing like that and he totally don't understand what's going on his friend's mind. Isn't that weird, your own bff told your girl to dump you? That probably mean he thinks you're being a jerk too right? So I broke up with my boyfriend (after considering it, his bff is the last person to tell me to break it off with him, after all my friends told me to do so since long) and added his bff on my Facebook (I didn't removed him from my FB either). But, do you think he will be pissed to learned that I broke it up with him but stay in good contact with his bff? I won't lie here, I still have that tiny hope in me hoping that he would regret his actions and comes back, but his bff told me just to forget him already... Apparently he didn't told anything to his bff even about our break up. What do you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I thought you were the bitch at beginning, but seems like the real jerk in this story is the so called "BFF"... What a cunning and deceiving rat...

    I had the exact same thing happening to a friend about 10 years ago actually.

    Let's call him L, and his (fake) best friend will be called K.

    my friend L got dumped by his girlfriend. A few days after, we realized that it was mainly because K talked to L's girlfriend (saying she should dump him and sh*t).

    So litterally K revealed to be a f***in traitor, and on the top of that it appears he was attracted by L's girlfriend...


    Generally speaking, it is highly insultive and disgusting to dare creating a connection with the best friend of a guy you just dumped. He's is your ex bf's ally, NOT yours.

    HOWEVER, a REAL best friend, would never accept to be friends with you after you dumped his buddy in the first place.

    So that leads me to the conclusion, this "bff" is one hell of a traitor because everything he did was to help you, and never to help his friend (your ex).

    • He might be a traitor to my ex, but does that means that my ex is not guilty at all? He really changed compared to before, I can see he used to be so caring and stuff, then he just got cold, I tried everything to patch everything up back, but to no avail. Every single friend of mind told me that he's a lot of drama, either that or he has another person.

    • The question was not about your ex being guilty or not, although I believe he is.

      The question was "is it okay to be friend with the bff of a guy you dumped" .

      The answer is NO.

      You are interfering with the friendship of 2 guys, which has nothing to do with you and your love deceptions.

      You were wrong to talk about your relationship related intimate issues to this bff, and he was wrong to listen to you.

      It's not his business, and if he was a real friend, he would have stayed out of it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • First of all you've been side tracked into talking more about his "BFF".

    You should have sat your boyfriend down and talk to him about why he's being a jerk. If he wanted to continue being with you then he would compromise and be rational. However if he plays it off like nothing went wrong, then DUMP HIM THERE.

    As for his "BFF", he's trying to get into your pants. Unfortunately for him, he has a 0% chance with you.

  • Boy, you totally got played by the 'bff'. Who is a complete jerkoff. Here's a hint. NEVER take your relationship problems to another guy. If you have issues with your boyfriend, talk to your boyfriend.

  • think about it from this perspective too. One of my best friends is doing the same thing to me. Same platonic weird friendship with the ex. This makes me resent both of them, because I know she's doing it to stay close to me after I cut her off and I have no idea why he still chills with her. I try to be mature about but it really hurts all involved. Don't be so sure bff doesn't want to get with you.


What Girls Said 1

  • Your boyfriend warned you not to talk to the 'bff' anymore. Don't you think there was a reason for that? And look, now you're hoping he will want to be with you again, after YOU broke up with him.

    Going to another man (especially one close to your SO) to try and 'work thru' relationship issues is a big no no. Totally disrespectful. How would you feel if he had done that to you with your best girlfriend? Oh, and as far as listening to everyone around you about YOUR relationship, they aren' t in it!

    How many of those GF's that told you to dump him, have a successful relationship of their own? It is good to consider a trusted ones advice, but nothing will be closer to the truth than your own intuition and no one knows the inside of your relationship except you and your partner.

    Your Ex's guy friend is trouble, and your ex probably knew he wasn't to be trusted around females. Should have listened to him.


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