Girlfriend of one month wants to move in...Rush answer needed please.

Help, how can I give a definite answer to a girl I have been in a one month relationship with when she has an idea to move in with me. We were even talking about how our lives are not on the same track last night.

She text me jut now saying that she lost her job ver an argument with boss and will need a paceto stay for a few months by June.

don't want to hurt her and OK if cause a breakup if needed. I am not ready or anyone to live with me as I got divorced last Nov.

thanks SW
Updates:
To be supportive visited her last night. She told me the job loss scenario was 'a test' to find out where I was in the relationship. (hu?) I was shocked. I said that was a mean thing to do. She defended as necessary to her. She is finishing school for bar exam, a small business owner & a dog owner (= stable right.) My thoughts: -shows a lack of trust. –should have asked my thoughts. With 13y since I’ve dated, I'm not ready for this kind of drama. What would you do at this point? Thanks

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand her want to be someplace with someone she feels secure if she cannot afford a place on her own, but If you are not ready for that and this is a deal breaker for you, then you just need to tell her that your divorce is still hard on you and you can't make that level of commitment yet.

    Ease it by offering to help her find a place with lower rent, or possibly look for an open room in an apartment for her.

    She should respect that a month is very quick regardless of the circumstances.

    If she did move in, and things became difficult, you would need to kick her out again anyways. And that would break you up.

    Just tell her straight.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Dump her, she cleraly does not know how to be honest with you and enjoys playing games. How do you know that you can trust her from now on?

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  • Playing games is childish and hurtful even when simple but to lie about such a big thing is a HUGE red flag. For her to be willing to invent that scenario which forces a huge pressure on you emotionally is ridiculous and completely unwarranted, regardless of any issues or problems that may exist in your relationship.

    If she can't discuss issues in a relationship and has to resort to stupid scenarios like that, it's time for her to go. You DON'T need this right now and it's only been a month anyway, so better to nip this in the bud. An adult doesn't need to "test" a relationship. It shows huge insecurity and potentially trust issues on her part and if she's willing to lie about losing her job so early on, what else is she willing to lie about?

    I would dump her. No questions asked. I think you need to explain to her about why you're dumping her so she can come to terms with it, but she's not what you or any guy needs right now. She has "psycho-girlfriend" written all over her.

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  • Dude...she just plain lied to you. Dump her.

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  • It sounds like to me she wants a sugar daddy.

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  • Wow, way too soon. I can't believe she would even suggest this.

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    • Wow ... testing someone is actually crazier than trying to move in with them after one month. I see some red flags waving here?

What Guys Said 5

  • Just tell her that it is moving way too fast for you. Unless she is completely mental, she should understand that. If she doesn't respect your reason, then you are better off without her.

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    • Good advice. I said" Sorry for your job. As for your idea to move in, I think it would be moving way too fast for me. We'll have to find other ways for me to help you throught this"

      Her reply " ok.. good answer! it was something fr me to know. No worries , I have friends who'll be there to help me out."

      This was just a few min ago so haven't sent a repl to her. If I read between the lines from her it sounds like she will be considering me not a friend now. :?

      Thanks for the speedy reply!

    • Wow! That is a huge red flag. She sounds like a crazy person. Even most messed up people can normally hide such extreme behavior this early in the relationship. If I were you, I would leave her before it gets worse.

  • Negative, too soon. You can offer to help her for a few weeks but let her know she's gotta find someplace else to live.

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  • Dump her immediately.

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  • Potential gold-digger, give her the wide berth.

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  • It seems she really wants someone to take care of her.

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