Ex still lurking around. advice

so, me and my ex boyfriend broke up a year ago. not because we didn't love each other, but because we were at different stages of out lives. He is 36 years old and ready to start a family and at the time of the break up I felt as though I needed to accomplish a few more things before making the big commitment. Since the break up, we have kept in touch, it has gotten to the point were we text each other every day ( mostly trivial things) about a month ago I realized that he was the guy for me and I felt ready to give it another chance. I asked him for coffee and when I told him that I wanted to give the relationship another shot, he was apprehensive. He told me that he doesn't have much time to lose and that he is afraid that I am going to leave him again next year ( I live in his same town now while I go to school, but I am graduating at the end of the year) I then proceeded to tell him that I didn't think it was healthy for us to continue talking then because I still loved him. He told me he loved me too but that he wasn't sure I had really changed and if I was really ready to commit. We didn't talk for about a week and then he started texting me again. It has been going on for a few weeks now . I don't know what to think ... should I ask him to dinner ? is he waiting for me to make the moves since I am the one that broke off the relationship? by the way neither of us have dated anyone the entire time we have been broken up. WHAT SHOULD I DO? it is really making me depressed as I want him back in my life.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Keep the lines of communication pen ad honest.

    He is looking for consistency in your decision to fully commit, to assure himself that you are not going to have a change of heart when you graduate if he gives a relationship with you a second chance.

    "What should you do?" Reinforce your intent to commit him as often as you can. Convey to him that he is the only guy for you and you both want the same in a relationship with each other.

    He wants assurance from you, that's all.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 8

  • YOu should tell him you want to continue the relationship the way things are but that you are wanting to complete a few things in your life and ask him for his support on these things, tell him that if he really loves you the way that you love him, he'd be willing to wait a few years before getting married so you can accomplish waht you want to accomplish, don;t make things complicated.

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  • He's telling you the truth.

    He loves you, but is afraid you will leave him again if he commits to you. Because he is already old he wants to settle down now.

    If you REALLY want to commit, you have to convince him of it only then will he take you back!

    Good luck!

    pls answer mine:

    W ww.girlsaskguys.com/Break-Up-Questions/840245-why-my-exgf-interested-in-talking-she-acted.html

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  • If you tell him how you feel, like how much your ready to give to him, you have to be ready to hear that you might be to late. I'm sorry, sometimes it happens. Maybe one day when he comes over make him dinner and surprise him with something (something that shows your ready like giving him a set of keys to your place) tell him that you know your to late, and you might to deserve it but, you love him and want him. If you can do long distance, then do it. If you can't, then let the guy go. He might not find anyone as good as you while you're gone and by he time you get back, it might be your time together. Together forever is a big commitment, show him that you aren't ready to jump into it but your willing to try, one day at a time.

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  • go to a peaceful environment with him and just talk things out. no distraction no nothing.

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  • All you can do is propose ...

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  • Find someone new.

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  • he's old

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  • He just fears being committed to you because he really does hate it when you leave him.

    You should really ask him out for a dinner, and tell him that you're looking out with him to a long term.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Before you do anything, answer this honestly, WHAT DO YOU WANT? Do you want to be with him? Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him? Would you be willing to sacrifice your career/personal accomplishments to be with him? If you a got an amazing job offer in another city, would you turn it down to stay in the same town as him?

    Don't lead him on until you are absolutely sure about what you want.

    Also, just a personal opinion, I think when a guy truly loves/cares for you, he should support your dreams. Based on what you wrote, he sounds a little selfish and I don't understand why he is so impatient. Guys can start a family at practically any age.

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