Ladies, do you believe in second chances?

I'm gonna try to keep this short and simple. I have this ex I'm still madly in love with and want to get back together with. We dated for a good 2 years but I broke up with her for my own issues with anxiety and depression, issues I've since worked through. Long story short, she's dated a couple guys after me but nothing serious and they made her absolutely miserable. When her and I were together, we were so happy and content, life seemed perfect. I've asked her back out before, shortly after she broke up with the first guy, but she said wasn't emotionally ready and that I needed to let her go and move on. A month later she had a, well a one-night-stand I guess you could call it, with a guy she'd practically just met and came crying to me saying how much she regretted it. I know that we still care about each other, that the attraction is still there, but I don't know what's keeping us apart. Why can't we be together? If we had a great, loving relationship before, why can't we have it again? I can't say that breaking up was a mistake because we've both grown and learned so much over the past year as a result of it, but I don't understand why we can't give it another shot. Thus my question, do you believe in second chances? (Sorry this got longer than I'd intended)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I believe there can be as many chances as there are as long as the party is willing to accept to give or receive another chance. As deragonus said about working through your issues helps a lot how a relationship becomes better, whether you fixed them while you were in the relationship or not. I had to grow up separately and understand how other people can be before knowing how much I love and adored my now fiance.

    He taught me many things while we were together since I lived under a rock until I was 19, but I could not intake my romantic idealism be destroyed and he was there when I had mental breakdowns. It wasn't even destroyed per say, I was so exaggerated due to also my anxiety and depression and thought that changing any bit of my ideals to practical means meant he was not accepting who I was. In this sense your girlfriend's ideal might be questioned that she can never go back to an ex in fear that you may leave her again, that she would be a fool, or that it's simply illogical.

    It will take some time, don't be just friendly with her but drop hints and affection to show that you care deeper than a friend for her to rekindle her emotions. Convince her with words to refute any doubts and fears that she has, let her feel like she has the reigns to call the relationship off this time if she needs to rather than make her feel she's forced into giving you another chance just because it's fair or smart to do. It'll also re-enforce for her to not leave you if she happens to get back with you because she might freak herself out that she dared go back to an ex due to passion and gets confused. Emotions are never logical, so she has to believe getting back together is safe, and more importantly, worth the risk again.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think second chances are a thing. However, whether or not you have both worked through any issues, which caused the break-up in the first place, is pivotal to your success. She may not trust you and you may have to be so patient in proving to her that what happened before won't happen again (talking about breaking up with her here). If you're willing to put in the work, then there's every chance you guys will be successful. But do make sure, you aren't looking back at the relationship through rose-tinted specs.

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  • I definitely believe in second chances! But I guess it's all about timing. Maybe your ex feels like she wants to try being in another relationship or maybe she feels that she has grown in a different direction than you. It also possible that she's just afraid to get back together again, because you might break up with her again. It's really difficult what you should do. On one hand you could try to convince her that you should be together, but it's also possible that it's best to give her some time and just show her that you're there for her.

    But my answer is YES - if you still love this other person and the timing is right I do believe in second chances!

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  • you could try it and find out ...but there is no crystal ball

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  • No I don't.

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