I would appreciate some perspective.

It's been a while since I've been on here, and a lot has happened since then. There's a girl I have been friends with for many years now. We've been on and off for most of it. We've both gone through our own experiences together and apart, and sometimes I don't know what to make of it. We've tried being together a few times but it hasn't worked out, but not for reasons that are typical. We have an undeniable chemistry that we've both expressed and admitted. The communication is great, and the intimacy is even better. It's all pretty dam good actually.

We have been anchors for one another. When we were both in horribly toxic relationships, we sought each other out for comfort.

This time around, both of our relationships were finally over, and we started seeing each other. She told me she loved me and that I deserve all of her love. We had a great couple of months together, and one day, she started to act strange. She started to get quiet and agitated. One night, she had a sh*tty day at work and when I came over she was really flustered and I was just letting her get it out. We were suppose to go out and she said " I'm sorry. I can't do this tonight. I'll just be mean to you." I kissed her on the forehead, and said good night. I gave her space.

After that weekend she changed, stared talking less, and the situation began to decline. By Friday night, she told me she wanted to be left alone, so I went out with my friends. She finally sent me a text explaining to me how she felt and I called her. I talked her down and told her that nothing bad is happening and shmight be overthiinking it. I went over, we made up, and all was well. Saturday morning was different though. She was upset and we talked. This is what she said to me: "I love you. I want to be with you, and you do everything right. I can't explain this feeling I get, and I hate that I feel this way. You don't deserve to be treated like this, and you're wonderful. I'm sorry."

The following week, she told me that she was moving back home by Sunday, and that she wanted to see me before she left. I spent the week with her, we packed, had amazing sex one last time, and even went out Saturday night. That night, she looked amazing, was under my arm, and even calling me baby. Her best friend from back home told me that I was the best man she has ever gone out with and this has nothing to do with me. She left the next day, and I was crushed. I'm fine of course, I'm seeing other girls and moving forward of course. I just wish I understood this better. I made her happy, but she was unhappy with everything else. I know I can't compete with that. At the same time, I still fell like there's a part off this answer that's missing. Ladies... Could you be so kind as to give me some perspective here? I would greatly appreciate it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • From what you have written here,and assuming you didn't leave anything out,my opinion is that what she is going through has NOTHING to do with you.Sometimes people need to move forward and do things in their OWN life separate from a partner.I can't tell you exactly why she decided to behave the way she has.But I can tell you that its clear she needed to make some changes,and its clear that it doesn't have much to do with you.Only SHE can give you direct answers of what going on.But its good that you are giving her some space and allowing her to make changes that are needed.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thank you for your reply. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, weather it's with me or not, but I do love her a lot, and maybe some day it'll work out. But if it doesn't, that's OK too. I'm open to anything that comes around the bend. I do believe that it doesn't involve me. I do now at least. This is something I have no control over. Instinct has me feeling stranded, but I'll get over it.

    • I think you just have to let go at this point being that you know within your heart it is nothing that YOU have done.Its difficult because I'm sure it feels like something is unresolved between the two of you,but its difficult to try and speak to someone when they aren't open to to speaking or explaining themselves.Moving forward is about the only thing you can do at this point.And know and believe that if it is meant to be the two of you will reconnect...BUT...don't hold your breath...

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What Girls Said 3

  • She thinks that she isn't good enough for your, maybe even afraid of disappointing you. I do really think that she loves you a lot. And possibly might come around again. I'm sure she is kicking herself but she just seems lost. Give it some time.

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    • Thanks for the input. You could be right, but it doesn't feel that way sometimes. We talked briefly yesterday, but I don't know. I would love to just get past the emotional part of this so I can move on more efficiently. It's only been a week. I told her that her energy was still around, and she didn't say anything. I'm confused.

  • I think you should just give it some time and have no expectations.

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  • be patient and see how it goes

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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems that she's undergoing something tough and she just doesn't want to share it with you. After all, it has nothing to do with you, and that's why she's afraid that she'll hurt you because of her attitudes that are born from this.

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    • Good point dude. She seems to be dealing with a lot of interpersonal bullsh*t, and she shoved me out of the way to save me from it.

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