So I got a call from my ex and now I've got mixed feelings again

So a couple of nights ago my ex contact's me on I'm and then calls me a couple of minutes later.

A little background info. We finally broke up after eight years together about a year and a half ago because our lives were in different places and were fighting all the time. We kept in touch and even had a few moments of weakens that we needed each other. But as always I was there for her when she needed me but she was hardly there for me at all.

So we haven't seen each other in months but kept in touch over text's and IM's.

Last night she contacts me and starts asking something about how to draw something and to prevent wasting of time explaining everything I offered to draw it for her since it would take me only about 5 minutes.

After I was done I sent it to her and we got talking on the phone a little. She was telling me about losing her job and how the cat's were doing and I told her about my the stuff I'm into right now.

But then she told me she saw my best friend and his girlfriend in a town at the seaside that my friend owns a condo and we frequent there a lot. So I asked him if he saw her and told me that he did and made up some bs that he forgot to mention it but I finally got out of him that she was there with a guy. I'm guessing he deliberately didn't tell me about it.

While I don't care if she's going out with strange dudes who look like the Easter Island statues I don't want to have to look at it.

Why is she hanging out in places she knows I go to while she could easily go some place else. I mean all I ever heard from her and her family was that this place was not as nice as the place they used to go to and that they were going here just because I said I wouldn't go there. Now she's dragging her trash onto my lawn without a reason and it's pissing me off. Because I don't want to have to be on my toes all the time if I'm going to run into her all summer when I decide to go and stay at my friends condo.

I mean I still have feelings for her. I miss her company sometimes and the fun we sometimes had but I wouldn't get back together with her under the same conditions even if it was possible witch it's not. I haven't had a good nights sleep since we broke up since her bed was the only place I slept well.

I don't know I just don't appreciate her dragging parts of her life that I don't want into mine and I the only thing I can think of is to get angry at her and tell her to back off and keep clear of places that she said she didn't even like and keep to places that she likes and I never go anyway.

The stupid thing is I don't know why she's doing this since she's not that dumb to not know that I wouldn't appreciate her parading her boyfriends in front of me and that this would hurt me and that I wouldn't do that to her.

So now I don't know how I'll be able to go on vacation since I'll always be nervous that I'm gonna run into her.
Updates:
So now she shows up on IM asking some stupid questions about what skates to buy or something and than all of a sudden she's gone again.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate to say this, but it really sounds like she's being manipulative. Your attention (positive or negative) is an ego stroke for her. Don't feed the beast. Even if she's doing it subconsciously, you don't deserve it.

    I know it's going to be difficult, but you should try to cut ties. I am a few years out of a 7-year relationship, myself. We tried to stay friends at the beginning but it was too complicated. The real healing didn't begin until I cut all ties with him. A few months ago, once I was truly over things, we reconnected on Facebook and are now casual friends again. Good luck.

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    • True I think you might be onto something about the manipulative behavior. It just makes me wonder why would she need the gratification of manipulation.

      I had previously cut all contact with her and haven't seen her for months and didn't talk to her for weeks. But she was the one that initiated the contact again. I'm just wondering why.

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What Girls Said 1

  • just avoid her she sounds like a very insensitive girl.

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    • That's what I've been trying to do and that's why I've been avoiding places where she hangs out and never shared any details about my life.

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    • if she is the one who hurt u,then she is trying to make herself look better by acting concerned so you don't think she is such a bad person after all.I know people like this

    • Well yes she did hurt me but I don't know why she's having trouble with that it was her choice at the time and she has to learn to live with it. Or she could just make it up to me by not parading her whatever they are in front of me. Being concerned and nice isn't something you use it's normal.

What Guys Said 1

  • You should delete all your contacts with her, and just avoid the places where you know she's going to be. Also, if you happen to see her, act like you didn't see her, and go on your way.

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    • I have noting against her. I actually like seeing her. Just her.

      And I don't see any reason why I should avoid the places I used always go just to avoid her. She's supposed to be avoiding them since she didn't like it there anyway.

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